I Just thought you should know!

Date: Thu Nov 30 5:51 PM, 2006

RE: I Just thought you should know!

Date: Thu Nov 30 6:14 PM, 2006

crazy cheer fan wrote:

anothermom wrote:

It is my job as a parent to monitor what my children do on the internet, a simple search will bring up many more inappropriate sites. I do not think that putting the website name here is an issue...if you do not know what your children are viewing online, you are asking for trouble!!! Teenagers should not have unlimited, unsupervised access to the internet. There is monitoring/parental control software available, use it!!! I am looking into the legality of that particular website, but I am not sure what, if any, laws are being broken.

Thank you a"another mom" I was starting to think I was out on a limb by myself!!! Although I agree with her about the solftware and use it myself another option is to have your monitor password protected...once the screensaver goes on or you start up your computer if you don't have the password you are out of luck. There is a reason why the age of an ADULT is 18, they need supervision and guidence until then (and some past then also!)

A big thanks to OC Mom as well for always being on the "mom limb"!!!

Take care!

You all are getting way off the topic!!

This page is not about monitoring our kids from inappropriate sites!!!
This page is about keeping them from being Photographed (tastelessly) & Displayed on these sites!

Date: Thu Nov 30 7:49 PM, 2006

Please do us all a favor and the next time anyone finds sites that are not appropriate, do not point everyone (young members included) in that direction. Make our jobs as parents a little easier, okay? We can't monitor what our kids are bringing up 24/7. Don't mention specifics, just speak in general terms. Trust me, we'll all get the idea. The whole "wow, look what I found" is just the wrong way to approach all of this. Why can't those of you who see nothing wrong with mentioning gyms and websites understand this? It just serves no purpose at all.

Date: Thu Nov 30 10:05 PM, 2006

I think discretion is the key. Know when it's appropriate to mention specific details, and know when they are not needed. Think about who reads these posts. Maybe the moderator could give some words of advice here??

Date: Fri Dec 1 3:26 AM, 2006

You're crazy if you think your kid hasn't seen or run across stuff like this already. It's just like the "MY little Sally WOULDN'T EVER drink or drive fast!" Yea, I've met those moms and dads a gazillion times myself. Posting it here doesn't make them look harder to see. They don't need to look harder. You type in one wrong word and up pops pictures that would make anyone say OH MY.

I think you need to be aware of your kids, what they do, with whom and why. But even MORE important, you need to teach them what is wrong and innapropriate. Because, once they step out that front door, once they take that step away from your sight, they are making their own decisions. Give them the knowledge to make an educated decision. Teach them to be leaders, not followers. Every single kid out there will make mistakes. But what kinds of mistakes are they going to make? Forgetting to call home at 9, or drinking "just one drink" with that friend? It may seem all in good fun when they are doing it, but if they know the consequences of even participating in activities that could effect them later on down the road of life, they will think twice. Give them an out to every situation.

This is what I tell my daughter should something happen and I am not there. Find a way out. If you are with friends and they are making bad decisions, you suddenly have a stomach ache. "hold on, I have to use the bathroom real quick." Then call me. No matter where you are, who you are with, anything..... I will drop what I am doing and come get you. Sometimes situations go from fine to bad. One kid thinks something will be fun and then all of a sudden, you are facing trouble. You don't have to say no, you just go. They offer you something that you dont want? Oh, hold on, I have to do something else.

We tell the kids to say no. But when you are young, that always isn't the best medicine. They don't want to be shunned. They don't want to be embarassed. They need a parent to help them out. But after that, you know who your real friends are. Your real friends wouldn't put you in that position to begin with. Last year she had to shun a HUGE part of her group because they began drinking. They didn't know why she did it, but she did. It was so rough for her but she did it and they ALL got caught. And I remind her that there is also what is called GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION. If you're there, who is going to believe that you're not participating too? Get out. Make something up.

As for the photos, we all have to be smart. Jumping the gun and saying that we shouldn't post ANYTHING ON HERE is just going from one extreme to another. Ignoring it won't make it go away and won't make it so our kids don't see it. You think that the teenage boys that come on here haven't looked even BEFORE we told them about the websites? Is it still the year 1926 where we look the other way because it makes us uncomfortable so we dont talk about it???? Educate your kids. You are all reading this board and know what is being posted. Don't want to show your kids? Be the parent and say no.

For some odd reason, saying no to your kid seems to be so difficult for parents to grasp these days. We give our kids every freedom they ask for and yell at everyone else for exposing things to them. It's posted on the web for all to see. Why are we all suddenly at fault for finding it, telling others what we found in order to educate each other and try to stop it, and yet it's still out there? We can't change the world, but we CAN change the few things we come across as A TEAM.

We are all a team. Let's work together instead of against each other. It DOES serve a purpose to point out the wrong things. If we avoid them, they won't change. If you avoid life, you never experience it. That doesn't mean it's not happening all around you.

I post my name cause, even though there are those who would love to come here and say that I am wrong, but so far, I've done ok with my kids. Three teens and not a single problem. NOT ONE SINGLE PROBLEM. They aren't perfect, but they are great citizens. And I have YET to hide things from them. I educate them. Maybe you all do things different, but different doesn't mean wrong. Don't like it being posted here? Take your own advice and ignore it. But ignoring us won't make us go away.

Cheers everyone. See you all at competitions!!!!!!!!

this opinion is simply an opinion and doesnt reflect those of OC All Stars or Cheergyms.com

OC Mom

Date: Fri Dec 1 7:10 AM, 2006

The topic right now is what specific details should be posted on this message board, which is supposed to be a place for cheerleaders of all ages and parents and coaches, etc... to read and post things about cheerleading. Nobody is saying these types of things shouldn't be mentioned; the issue is the posting of specific gyms and websites, is this really the place for it? And where do you draw the line? I could certainly find and then post all kinds of inappropriate websites. And your answer, OC Mom, would be that it's okay to post them because we shouldn't be letting our kids go to these websites anyway. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.

Date: Fri Dec 1 4:49 PM, 2006

I agree to disagree too! Hey, at least we are all on the same side!!!!

Date: Sat Dec 2 10:30 AM, 2006

I agree with OC mom and her comments. I've been in and around Law Enforcement 25 years. I know many good and caring parents who lost their kids because thier kids made bad decisions, often with fatal results. Do you know how many parents have said to me "I taught my kids better than that!" and "My kid would NEVER do that"!!!! or "I Trust my kid not to do anything stupid", "I know what my kid is doing all the time" or "I know where my kid is all the time".....
Have you ever been with a parent who's had to identify thier child's body at the Morgue? Many of these parents identifying their child's body, or at their funeral were "I thought I knew them", "What the hell happened?" "This is someone else's fault"......Some blame others, some blame themselves for not doing more. You have to educate and talk to your kids over and over and over, ad naseum!!!!!!
Sometimes good kids get into bad situations that they don't know how to "Extricate" themselves from. Or they feel like "Invinsible" because they are with their friends......(power in numbers), they feel like nothing bad will happen to them because they're with their friends. Or they're afraid of rejection and ridicule......let's be real. Teens want to feel like they belong. I like OC's mom's advice to her kids if they get into a situation they know is wrong that they can Fake a stomache ache, have a "Secret Code" so you're child can call you. You can be the most loving and caring parent, however when kids hit their teen years, and often before they are teens, they pull away from their parents and cling to thier friends.
I know a cop who was a "Dare" Officer. He owned a drug sniffing K9. This officer educated kids, including his own about the dangers of alcohol and drugs. He felt confidant that he would know if his kids were into drugs and had the added comfort of living with a K9 dog who could sniff out drugs if there were any in his home. Well, his wife found thier 15 son dead in bed. Apparently he had been "Dusting"......Look it up if you don't know what that is. It's a non drug item that is commonly found in most homes. There are too many bad people in the world that are willing to steal your child's innocence. Be it pornography or drugs......we can't be too careful. I think this is the perfect place to bring it up! I know, I know....but this is a "Cheer site"!! No kidding! But cheer involves kids,,,,,and kids have parents. Many parents read these threads.......Wow! What a great idea to enlighten parents and kids on what's going on out there! Give the parents the knowledge so at least they know what's out there and what they may have to deal with. Fore-warned is For-armed!! Education and knowlege is powerfull! Let's not forget that! I know parents are responsible for thier children, but let's not forget that it also takes a "Village"! Thanks OC Mom for caring!

Date: Sat Dec 2 12:10 PM, 2006

Another novel, wow. Anyway, I agree with the posts that say to use discretion when posting gyms you are exposing or websites. All that other stuff you and OC Mom are ranting about is common knowledge we already know, and has very little to do with watching out for suspicious photographers, or pointing everyone to sites that have, surprise, stuff we suspected it had already. Didn't see an answer to where we draw the line... how many inappropriate sites do YOU think we need to post here on this message board to get your point across? Answer: none, we all get it. Let's not give those sites any more exposure.

Date: Sat Dec 2 12:14 PM, 2006

You're so sweet for saying that about me. I care more than anyone knows about every single child that comes in to my life. Every kid I know calls me mom. But i am also a realist. My kids GONNA make a bad decision. It's inevitable. It's what they chose to do AFTER they realize that it's not what they SHOULD have done is what's going to save their life. We all know that point when we realize that what we thought would be ok, just isn't. From standing on the slide to hanging out at a friends when no parents are home. There's always that point, whether thru our own decisions or someone else's.

My daughter has already used the stomach ache excuse 3 times now. It works WONDERS. No one's gonna follow you to the bathroom, and if they do, they are usually looking for an out also. I will pick her up, no matter where she is or the time. she knows this and I think that's a sense of security in itself. she knows she won't be yelled at when she gets in the car. I will ask but I won't yell. And so far, she's told me everything. How do I know? Cause so far, they things she's told me weren't so good. And after the last time she did that, 2 of the group she was with were expelled from school. I think a lot of her reasoning for NOT getting herself in to trouble has to do with my fiance being in law enforcement. She doesn't want to embarass us. And she hears of all the stories of what happens to these kids who were just looking to have fun with their friends.

My favorite thing to do with my kids is IMAGINE IF. I talk about situations that go from good to bad. I talk about what COULD happen, from minor to major. Then I say, at that point, you WISH so badly that you could go back in time and change your decision. Well guess what.... YOU JUST GOT YOUR WISH. and now you are here and you can make a better decision. (I use that in cheer too. Would you work harder at practice back in November? POOF!!! Wish granted!!!)

Maybe I SHOULDN'T have posted what I found on that site. But you know what? Look what's come of it. We are all talking openly, learning from each other and more! So maybe we all don't agree, I am so happy with my decision. Would I do it again? Yea.

Date: Sat Dec 2 12:22 PM, 2006

Sheesh, this laptop is killin me......

Please talk to your kids. Know their friends. GO TO THEIR PRACTICES. Even if it's just to let them know that you have an interest. that you are aware of who's with them. AND LETTING EVERYONE ELSE KNOW THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF YOUR CHILD. Just like what happened with that other coach from that cheer gym, it's usually the people that we trust with our children. But they children with ACTIVE parents have a better chance. Don't just threaten your kid with, "oh I would KILL you if you did that!!!" Give them an out and let it be YOU. Tell them, "if you're every in a situation where you KNOW it's going badly, get out and call me. No matter what it is, it's better to be in trouble with me than changing in to those jail clothes or zipped up in that body bag....."

Horrible to think about? YES
Hard to talk about? YES
Real life??? YES YES YES

OC Mom

Oh and PLEASE, don't buy your 16 year old a fast car! He/she can't handle it and he/she WILLLLLLLL DRIVE FAST. Cmon. Who wouldn't? Shoot, put me in a fast car and watch out! It's fun and it's exciting. Save your kids LIFE before it's even a thought! I guess that's the whole point here. Being a parent isn't just FIXING the problem but PREVENTING the problem.

Date: Sat Dec 2 12:38 PM, 2006

wow wrote:

Another novel, wow. Anyway, I agree with the posts that say to use discretion when posting gyms you are exposing or websites. All that other stuff you and OC Mom are ranting about is common knowledge we already know, and has very little to do with watching out for suspicious photographers, or pointing everyone to sites that have, surprise, stuff we suspected it had already. Didn't see an answer to where we draw the line... how many inappropriate sites do YOU think we need to post here on this message board to get your point across? Answer: none, we all get it. Let's not give those sites any more exposure.

And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the attitude that gets you in trouble. "Common knowledge" is a funny quote there. Yea, it's common knowledge and yet kids go missing every day, predators get to kids every day, kids drink and drive every day, KIDS GET KILLED EVERY SINGLE DAY. If it were so "common" I guess it wouldn't be happening, now would it? Call it ranting, call it what you want, but you can't learn thru being ignorant and ignoring what's out there.

Just know that when your child needs help or needs an out, it will be those of us who do the ranting and raving that will try their best to save their rears! We aren't giving those sites exposure, we are making each other AWARE. There's a HUGE difference!

Educate yourself my dear. You have a ROUGH road ahead of you if you don't. And if you need help, give us a call and go to the nearest bathroom. We'll be right there!!!

hahahaha

Date: Sat Dec 2 1:39 PM, 2006

Don't you just love these moms who come on here with their Parenting 101 blabbering? Like they are experts at something that we are all clueless about? What in the world would we do without their lectures. Unfortunately, we'll never find out.

Date: Sat Dec 2 1:44 PM, 2006

wow wrote:

Another novel, wow. Anyway, I agree with the posts that say to use discretion when posting gyms you are exposing or websites. All that other stuff you and OC Mom are ranting about is common knowledge we already know, and has very little to do with watching out for suspicious photographers, or pointing everyone to sites that have, surprise, stuff we suspected it had already. Didn't see an answer to where we draw the line... how many inappropriate sites do YOU think we need to post here on this message board to get your point across? Answer: none, we all get it. Let's not give those sites any more exposure.

Why do you have to be so rude? Caring people are trying to help here. These parents who are so lovingly and thoughtfully trying to give advice to you have been around for a while. They've seen and experienced things that they pray you won't have to. The World is a cruel place and so many are out for themselves and don't care if they take you down. So instead of being rude, why don't you just say thanks????

Date: Sat Dec 2 1:49 PM, 2006

I think it could probably all go under another post, advice from parents to other parents. The original topic is getting buried underneath all the rest of the rather lengthy posts. I think it was something about watching out for cameras at competitions.

Date: Sat Dec 2 1:54 PM, 2006

soap box wrote:

Don't you just love these moms who come on here with their Parenting 101 blabbering? Like they are experts at something that we are all clueless about? What in the world would we do without their lectures. Unfortunately, we'll never find out.

Yep..when I was a teenager, I said the same thing about adults!! I thought I was smarter than those "blabbering" parents.....guess what????? The difference is that I was never "Disrespectful" and now that I'm an adult and have seen a thing or two, most of those adults were, OMG, right!!!!!! I suppose we should be sorry that we care for you so much. Hmmmmmmm. Thinking, thinking......... Nope, I'm not sorry! If our advice saves one child, then it's worth it. I've seen too many dead kids........

Date: Sat Dec 2 1:59 PM, 2006

Different Topic wrote:

I think it could probably all go under another post, advice from parents to other parents. The original topic is getting buried underneath all the rest of the rather lengthy posts. I think it was something about watching out for cameras at competitions.

Does it really matter where this is? I mean the title is "I Just THought you should know!" I noticed all the other posts have something about "Cheer" in them, this one doesn't. OK,OK..then if it makes you happy, start another post that is titled to your liking. But I'm willing to bet that someone will criticize that one too. There's going to always be one or two people who are not happy with anything and love to "nit-pik".

Date: Sat Dec 2 2:04 PM, 2006

I've noticed that a lot of these teens that post of Cheergyms.com are from California and seem to enjoy being rude. When I'm reading ProX threads, the teens from other states seems to love the parents and their advice and humor. I know there are kids here who are disrepectful of adults, but it seems that alot of thier replies are thougtless and rude.

PS-OK, I await the "Bashing"

Date: Sat Dec 2 3:17 PM, 2006

And you're right. But thankfully, I have found that 99% of the teens really DO love their parents and are thankful. It's like everything else, there are the few that make it bad for everyone else. But there are so many kids out there that are so respectful and kind that I can't believe that the few that come here are really representing the rest. Actually, I KNOW that they don't represent the rest.

It warms my heart to know that you all are out there and care. The people that are rude are the minority. So I just shrug it off.

Date: Sat Dec 2 3:47 PM, 2006

Just a thought wrote:

I've noticed that a lot of these teens that post of Cheergyms.com are from California and seem to enjoy being rude. When I'm reading ProX threads, the teens from other states seems to love the parents and their advice and humor. I know there are kids here who are disrepectful of adults, but it seems that alot of thier replies are thougtless and rude.

PS-OK, I await the "Bashing"

On ProX you have to register, even if it is under "screen names". People tend to be more polite when they have to put a name next to their comments. If you've noticed on ProX, eventually people figure out who you are. So it isn't really anonymous. I think that cuts down on people being rude.