watching practices

Date: Wed Aug 30 10:13 PM, 2006

RE: watching practices

Date: Wed Aug 30 10:32 PM, 2006

Oh please Funnier, keep your "I feel so sad for them" psycho babble to yourself. On second thought, let me throw some your way. I feel sad for parents who feel they have to watch their child's every move. Let them go, really ... don't you trust them without your eagle eyes at practices? If not, why? I know my child is in good hands, and if she wants to tell me about practices, she will (and does). If she wants me to watch, I'll come and watch. I'm thinking your one of those moms who will also have some hidden camera in their car when they start driving, or some global tracking system tracking their every move. Talk about sad.

Date: Wed Aug 30 11:18 PM, 2006

Sorry I offended you. You are so far from the truth about it it's almost making me literally giggle to myself. It's funny how one can take a post and turn it around so much. Do emails get you worked up like this also? Maybe you need to stay away from reading for a while cause it's making your blood pressure rise.

One chill pill coming up.

Date: Thu Aug 31 5:25 AM, 2006

I think there overprotective parents out there. They are with their kids every step of the way. Those kids turn out fine, but somewhat dependent on their parents. When your kids are younger and their class is short, why not stay. But if they are practicing for about 2-3 hours , and close to your house, then let her grow. Some parents remind of Friday Night Lights and Varsity Blues, where they are to intense. That makes their child not like it as much and turn away from activities.

Date: Thu Aug 31 6:12 AM, 2006

I agree with Watching. Also, I don't get who this web cam is for. It's not for the parents who commute too far to turn around and go home to watch practice on their PC. And they're certainly not going to bring their laptop and try to find some place that has a connection so they can watch. So maybe it's for the parents who are close enough to go home. Do these parents really drop off their son/daughter, then go home and log in and sit and watch practice on their computer? If you're not going home to do other stuff, why not just stay at practice? At least when there are parents at the gym, you have an idea of who and how many are watching; with a webcam, not the case. Another question, there is a cost associated with this kind of setup; is the cost picked up by the gym or passed on to the parents?

I don't know, it just seems so bizarre to me. We like to compare cheerleading with other sports (and I think it's good to do so). Can you think of any other sport that would feel the need to set up a camera so parents can watch practices? There is a feeling of untrust (like nanny cams) associated with it. I trust my gym, otherwise my child would not be there. And like the other post said, if my child wants me to watch, I'm there.

Date: Thu Aug 31 7:11 AM, 2006

Anyone who think a web cam is not a good idea, do me a favor; don't go to a gym that has one! If you don't want to watch practices, don't! Trying to put down the parents that are involved, and/or have the time to be there is a bit odd to me. As if to say, "Well, I don't do that so anyone who does is a bad parent" Insecure? We carpool. When my kid goes off for her hour drive in someone else's car, I turn on my computer and can relax when I see her walk into the gym! I might look a time or 2 if I find a moment. There is no sound, but I can see if she is happy or looks hurt or whatever. I also worry about my parents and friends and I doubt anyone would tell me to "let them go" lol. My daughter LOVES me to watch. I only wish I could watch more often. I also learn things by watching. Other parents explain things. There are some who are negative. If that gets going in the lobby, I leave. When my daughter was younger, there was a core group of us who were always there watching. We were also the parents who took care of the kids who got injured or weren't feeling well. The kids knew us and were comfortable with us. It was cool! More than one expressed a desire that her mommy was around more. The parents that were not around tended to come to us with questions. They were refered to as the "drive by" parents. THAT was sad to me, but I didn't judge them or put them down. I understood there lives were different than mine, and their parenting was also different. We have long since left that gym, but I have learned things since that make me sick. Things that happened WHILE I trusted them, at slumber parties and such. A gym owner/coach is no different than anyone else. Our kids are too precious to gamble on some imagined trust in a stranger. Yes, there is a time to let go. Cheerleading is not it, to my mind. I watch and pay attention and try not to repeat my past mistakes. If your daughter needs something that she can't tell the coach, (personal) I will most likely be there. Or one of my friends. :)

Date: Thu Aug 31 7:33 AM, 2006

First of all, it was funnier who set the tone for this by stating if your child is angry by you watching, how sad for them. Now that's a little judgemental, wouldn't you say?

Secondly, if I'm at a large gym with many many parents, this webcam is on my child too, not just yours. Perhaps it's a little too invasive for those who would never use it; we would have no choice but to have our children displayed on your computer. At least if you're at the gym, we know you're there watching. I would like to meet or at least see the people watching my child.

As a coach, I would hate it. Maybe we can hear from other coaches, see how they would feel being under surveillance, just in case other gyms decide to follow this rather bizarre policy of web cams in gyms.

Date: Thu Aug 31 9:17 AM, 2006

I agree with "funnier" and "bizarre hostility" each family has its own unique parent/child relationship. What works for one will not work for another and that is no reason to criticize another just because you do it differently. Cheerleading is a unique sport where parent watching is concerned. If a child is on a soccer field, etc you can sit and watch from afar without distrubing the practice. Since cheerleading is in the gym there are different conditions. Thankfully, our gym has a viewing room which keeps the parents separated from the practice. I do not think gyms should allow parents to be in the same room as the practice as that would be too disturbing and I wouldn't sit and watch the entire practice in that case. Having a separate room I have gotten a chance to get to know the other parents and many times we sit and talk about non-cheerleading topics. This is great because now we feel more comfortable sitting together at competitions cheering our children on.

Date: Thu Aug 31 9:53 AM, 2006

Seriously, folks get over it. You're so intense.

The webcam is a great idea. It's optional. And, probably intended for parents and coaches viewing. If you use the webcam - it doesn't determine your parenting style or parent/child relationship. It's a great option that is offered at a gym.

I have a teenager, I would love to watch her on the webcam "every once in awhile" to see her development. Believe me, most parents don't have time to sit so intensely watching every minute of a webcam practice.

As for the viewing room, it's optional as well and intended for all (commuters and non-commuters).

As for the kids that don't want their parents watching, that's their choice and personality style. Most parents know their children inside/out and support them differently, nothing wrong with that.

However, don't judge the kids/parents that enjoy watching. Some kids want and enjoy their parents viewing (doesn't matter the age). That's their parent/child relationship. Great for them too.

So, what's the problem. Not all parents complain in the viewing room, they have great conversations (positive and negative) - it's a choice for all to stick around.

Date: Thu Aug 31 10:24 AM, 2006

This web cam thing reeks of big brother watching. I agree with one of the above postings that stated that all the kids are being filmed. In this age of hackers and pedophiles who wants their kids practices actively showing on the web. Do not even try to tell me this is a secure connection. I know from experience a pedophile can be a parent or relative of someone in your own gym or a really savvy computer wiz who hacks in. Do you really want this person ooggling over your child. I DO NOT>>>Web cam is a BAD and Risky idea. Are the gyms getting written permission from all parents to display the kids?

Date: Thu Aug 31 11:05 AM, 2006

Big Brother, yeah. The thing is, of course parents would love to strap a camera on their child wherever they go. It's natural to want to check in to see how things are going. I can see why parents are in support of having a webcam at their gym (why not)? But in my opinion, it's so wrong for the reasons already stated (trusting your coaches, security issues, and just the fact that it's taking the parent watching thing a little too far, in the opinion of some of us). Are parents allowed to log in and watch all practices, any day of the week? Or just the practices their child is attending?

Date: Thu Aug 31 11:25 AM, 2006

Which gym(s) have webcams?

Date: Thu Aug 31 11:32 AM, 2006

Never! I would never trust anyone if you are not allowed to view in a gym. Coaches teachers, religous leaders etc. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS A PEDOPHIL (SORRY ABOUT THE SPELLING )OR A SEXUAL OFFENDER. Also I like to check on my teenagers. I have 3 of them and I've been then the COOL MOM. Well let me tell you my oldest got into alittle trouble with the wrong crowd. So to all you ney sayers about letting your kids be on there own we know to many parents that have buried there children and NO PARENT SHOULD HAVE TO DO THAT.

Date: Thu Aug 31 12:15 PM, 2006

Ok, this is really getting bizarre. If you are worrying about pedophiles, DON'T EVER GO TO A CHEER COMP!!! There is open seating for anyone who is willing to pay admission. Are you with your scantilyclad darling every second? Do they go get a churro or a drink? Make-up, teeny outfits, hair-do, c'mon, it's a dream come true! Sexy routines? Sweaty practices with fuzzy images that only a parent would recognise are NOTHING! This is a sorry argument. Big brother? Wait untill you find out that your 12 year old was playing sexual games WITH THE COACH! (no touching, thank-god, just positioning) This after 5 years of so called trust. And to find out 2 years later? So gripe all you want about big brother, NOBODY will have that kind of access to my child without knowing that there is always somebody watching. I call that loving my teen and being a good parent.

Date: Thu Aug 31 12:53 PM, 2006

Ok, lets get something straight here before it goes ANY further....

when I said that it was sad if your child didn't want you to watch.... I MEANT THAT FOR THE PARENTS WHO WOULD WANT TO WATCH BUT THEIR TEENAGER WANTS INDEPENDENCE. It means that they are branching out on their own and you have to let go of the child you raised for years and years. It breaks my heart for the parents who see their children grow up so wonderful and beautiful and the time has come to let go. We love our kids and want to be a part of their lives. But that doesn't last forever.

so those of you who INSIST on reaming me over and over and over, my words were with the upmost kindness and love intended. you are making me look as if I am a bad person for wanting to see my child grow and a bad parent for having a teen who LIKES me to be involved. every single kid in our gym comes to me for help, guidance and a ride home when they can't get one. I feed the coaches when they are hungry and didn't get a break so they could spot YOUR little Suzie one more time. You are picking on the wrong person just to make your insults. I am deeply offended at such hostitilty towards me having a good relationship with my child. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Secondly. Web cams have passwords. you sign up for it. you get approved thru your gym. you watch ONLY when your child is practicing. PERIOD. So all of you sickos who insist that i am perverted for wanting to watch my kid, shame on you too. and to make it clear, our coaches DON'T yell at our kids or scream at them or abuse them. they have NOTHING to worry about when it comes to having parents watch, be it online or in person. And since i am one of those HORRIBLY involved parents, I ACTUALLY KNOW THE OTHER PARENTS WHO ARE WATCHING MY CHILD ONLINE. Unlike most parents who have their child IMing online to who knows who.

I am NOT judging you for dropping your kid off and going off to Starbucks, Carls Jr. and Target. Do not judge me for staying to watch my kid instead and then having dinner WITH her and discussing everything that WE BOTH experienced.

Call me a bad parent but anyone who knows me will tell you the EXACT opposite. I am the parent who cares for YOUR kid when you are not there. I am the parent who laughs with your kid when you are not there. I am the parent who tells YOUR child that she/he is doing well when she/he failed something. I am supporting YOUR child and you will condem me for being a part of that? Be very careful cause I just might be a PART OF YOUR GYM and you may actually KNOW ME and would be so embarassed to know that you hurt my feelings when you actually love who I am in person.

Date: Thu Aug 31 1:18 PM, 2006

uh, Funnier? I think you need one of your chill pills, seriously.

Which gyms have webcams, nobody has answered that one yet. Just curious...

Date: Thu Aug 31 1:39 PM, 2006

Irony......

This thread and the psycho-ness that accompanies it really renders the debate mute.

Date: Thu Aug 31 1:44 PM, 2006

No one's gonna answer now since people will just judge that one too....

And vet coach... I don't agree. A debate is never mute when there is still plenty to debate.

Date: Thu Aug 31 1:46 PM, 2006

I agree totally. You don't need a chill pill, you need recognition. Don't let others tell you how to feel and what to do. It's quite obvious you are doing things right when your teen still wants you around.

Teens only ask parents to go away when they become embarassing.

Date: Thu Aug 31 1:57 PM, 2006

Funnier I truly agree with most of your postings.

However, I think you really need to stop feeling sorry for the kids that don't want their parents watching, it's a preference - their parent/child relationship. It doesn't mean the kid doesn't love or want to be around their parents.

I am 50/50. I do both. Watch as much as I can and take days off as well - giving my teenage daughter time on her own. Does she want me there? For the most, yes... sometimes no.

Don't feel sorry for different family-relationship styles than yours. Doesn't mean there's something horribly wrong.

And, as for the folks that are cutting "Funnier" down, just stop. You can tell she is a very sincere, caring person/parent and far from what you folks are alluring to. Listen, read wisely, don't be bitter and don't take offense.