To My Turn, you're like the Jerry Macguire of cheer, you made some good points, thanks! Even if gyms don't think they fit that description, it is the perception some of us have of them, and they need to know that (especially when you mentioned blind loyalty, which is so true).

In our case, I would say some of it fits. Yes, it's a business, but a small one. We go back (give them our business) every year because my daughter loves it (loves the gym, the coaches, the girls). They're more like a family business that does it for the love of the sport; I have seen them put their affection for the girls over the business end of it, so I know there's more to it than that. Because we see smaller gyms close down all the time, they do sometimes have to make decisions for the good of the gym, and I can completely understand that. But if their decision was one that put my daughter in a position where she was not happy there and her love of the sport turned sour, would we leave? Of course. Would we leave during the season when everything is in full gear and she can't easily be replaced? No, she knows about being loyal and sticking with a commitment. But we wouldn't return. Fortunately, we don't see that happening, but you never know.

My turn! wrote:

---

Well, I think it is really good to be able to air these feelings. I have been in cheer 7 years and am totally disillusioned with the gyms. Understandable. Most cheerleading gyms are run by people that have no business experience at all.
They run a business for profit, doing what they have chosen to do, yet they somehow want to make you feel that you owe them something like blind loyalty. That is just plain dumb.
Blind loyalty to any business is crazy. I agree. It's bad enough they get it from the kids, adults need to be WAY more savvy. I have seen way too many heart broken hearted kids to buy into it anymore. It's business now, plain and simple.
I think part of the problem here is that we still think of cheerleading as "Fluffy Fun" It is competitive and parents need to prepare their kids for the dissapointments of a competitive sport. This doesn't give gym owners and coaches the right to decieve. I just mean that when a cheerleader thinks they should be flying or on a different team, it shouldn't be much different than sitting the bench 77 out of 84 innings as a 13 year old little league All star. (true story happened to me :) Why do we act like the sport owes us something? Work for it! To say that a gym does what is best for the kids first is nonsense. The gym does what is best for the gym. Period. They wrap it up to make it look like a gift for the kids, but we PAY for everything our children receive. I suppose there may be an exception to the rule out there, but I doubt it. At least not a successful one. The business person in me understands why they do what they do. The parent in me resents the way it is made to look like something other than what it is.
I think you should make sure you're at a gym that puts the kids first. Of course the gym owners have to make sure they stay in business but they likely wouldn't have even started if it wasn't for their love of the kids.
I know MANY decisions are financial, one example, double and triple teaming to go after the "program awards." Like the trophys, that goes to the GYM. Using my child to get that $, on top of what I am already paying ticks me off. Just like fund raising for equipment. I sure wish I could tell our clients they have to fundraise to buy the equipment I will then use to do the job they are paying me to do! Sounds good to me!
We agree here. That's all just wrong. Any gym that gets away with all that must have plenty of Blind loyalty customers.
It happens and it is what it is, I just think it is time that we parents stopped allowing ourselves to be played. Whew, I feel better now!
"My Turn" The only thing I want to say is this.......No gym Owners are gettng RICH here. You sound like you know a bit about business. Try running the numbers. Take into consideration all of the expenses and TIME it takes to run a cheerleading gym. I actually think you'll realize that most families are getting an absolute bargain! The fact is our sport in expensive. If anyone could change that it would be the Gym Owners. When the average cheer year expenses range from $2500-$6000 (That's expenses only) it's hard for the Gym owners to charge much more on top of that to cover their expenses much less try to earn a profit.

I would LOVE to gather 100 parents in a room to debate these issues and try to come up with some solutions to these problems. We all want the same thing in the end. What do you think "My Turn", could we get together a Cheerleading Town Meeting??????

---

I wanted to add that gym owners might be shocked at just how many people are feeling like I do. Most people are too skittish to speak, or they simply stay quiet while they look for better options. I know some of the best kids in our program are unhappy and open to other options. Some actually exploring other gyms. I hate it. But the owners have tied our hands with the take it or leave it position. I am not actively looking elsewhere, but I can't say I wouldn't consider it at this point. It sucks because last year was totally different. I would have stayed loyal no matter what. That is before I started feeling manipulated. Nothing about winning or being in front. Just about being used.

my turns post could have been written by me! My situation is so close, but not exact. I have stayed away from our gym for awhile and have now decided to suck it up for this season and see what is what next year. I hear so many parents complaining in the gym and outside, I hope this year is good and does not blow up!

I read it and I have to say that I agree completely. It's amazing at the passive parenting that I witness everyday. Just yesterday at Costco, I overheard a young boy, about age 7, yelling at his mom, "No! You don't understand! It's not the way I WANT IT! I WANT IT NOW! NOT LATER!" And she sat there eating her salad, unfazed. Not responding. Remember the days when you would "get it" if you even raised your voice? Boy I tell ya, the day of a good whack on the rear has almost disappeared and in place of it are a group of kids who are disrespectful, rude, nasty and worse, problem kids. Kids aren't kids anymore. They sit in front of a video game instead of a bicycle handlebar, trying to balance on the front while a friend peddles. They watch cartoons and TV shows instead of building forts. They don't do any sports except go to the mall.

And then there are our kids who do sports, but some have the nightmare parents who are in the way every step of the way. They argue with the coach if something isn't to their liking. They complain about little Susie who isn't doing as much as she should while their child is. They go to the competitions and fight with other team moms because they are better than the other team. And the list goes on. We all know it well.

When do we let our kids be kids? When do we let them NOT be on the team that they want to be on? When do we let them NOT hit a stunt or a tumbling pass and be right there to make sure the coach isn't yelling at them? They need to be kids and we need to let them fail.

I have to admit, this season is a bit tough for us. My daughter was on the Senior Advanced team last year, but this year she isn't. It was discussed with us and since the gym got new kids that could tumble better than my kid, there just wasn't room for her. Now her new team may move down ANOTHER level because most of the kids just aren't up to par for that level. My poor kid went from level 5 (and she's a strong level 4 tumbler) to possibly level 3. So far I haven't said a thing. And I am thinking I may not. Why???? Cause my daughter is on a team where she has bonded with the other girls. She has fun at practice and is enjoying the "less stress" that was on her team last year to be THE BEST. After years and years of cheer, she's enjoying herself. And she told me so. PLUS she's doing high school cheer also, so it's quite enough of cheer for her. But in some way I feel so disappointed. I really do. Of course I don't tell her this. I want her to be happy.

So with my touch of embarassment that I hide deep inside, I just let her be. I know my friends won't look down on us as failures because they all love the both of us. So I just keep my mouth shut and let her have a fun year. Who knows.... maybe she will get her full and move up again. Or maybe she won't and she will finish the rest of her cheer years totally happy. God forbid, huh???

A Mom

I agree with most of what you said; however it should be pointed out that the posts I have read where parents have felt the need to do something because their daughter wasn't placed where they felt she should be placed, their daughter was NOT happy. Their daughter didn't want to be there. It had nothing at all to do with any embarrassment a parent may feel because their child was dropped down (nobody mentioned anything about embarrassment, it was all about the child's happiness). So you're case is NOT the same as the others I have read. Just wanted to point out that difference.

Other than that, you had some good points, thanks!

I don't see the connection with what is being said here, but I do see the connection with others at the gym. The parents who want their child front and center and the like. So far, I have not seen that here. Am I missing something?

I wasn't comparing my situation to the other's parent's situation. I was just telling my story is all.

And yes, I agree. I think we may be stepping in a little too early at this point. If our daughter is unhappy, maybe she can figure out a solution to her situation on her own.

A wise woman and mom once told me a few years back....

"Maybe your daughter isn't looking for you to FIX her problem. Maybe she just needs you to LISTEN to her vent." And that hit home to me. I think of that every single time my daughter comes to me with a problem. And 9 out of 10 times, she already knows the answer to her problem, but she just needed someone to rant and rave to. I really try my best to NOT tell her what to do but to ask her what she thinks she should do.

Thank you smart mom. It think you will recognize who you are......

I suppose you could call me paranoid, but it really seems that this topic has been deftly manipulated into being about the problem parents pose, rather than the problems gyms pose. That is what I feel always happens at gym when a parent has a problem. That is what I can't stand. Without knowing all the details, NOBODY can get analytical about this - unless they have a personal motive. The situations are presented, why can't they be discussed? Not all parents are bad. Not all gym owners are good. Kids need parents too look out for them when they are placed in a situation that requires so much of their time and effort. If I want my kid to get her life's knocks somewhere, it won't be at a cheer gym I pay $ to send her! Messing up, losing, having an argument with a team mate, those ar the issues she deals with on her own. I have chosen to put her in chher, even if it means she isn't riding her bike around after school. If I want those situations, we will quit cheer and ride bikes. NO ADULTS INVOLVED. That is where this falls flat. There is NOT a situation here where kids are "playing" and learning with other kids, without adult involvment. Our kids are under the absolute control of coaches and gym owners. Being manipulated by owners and coaches to acquire more money or prestige for the gym is not a part of learning life lessons. Please don't try to gain control of our kids while telling us that being involved is bad! WE love our kids, you don't. Not the way we do. That is the subject here, I am still interested is a discussion if any parents are still brave enough!