Cheer mom needs advice...HELP!

Date: Mon Aug 7 11:12 AM, 2006

RE: Cheer mom needs advice...HELP!

Date: Mon Aug 7 1:28 PM, 2006

$700 deposit, the rest was uniform. I think camp stuff was part of the deposit.

Date: Mon Aug 7 5:39 PM, 2006

Any chance your daughter will come back (now that all the girls who had been trying out as seniors are back on a senior team)?

Date: Mon Aug 7 6:18 PM, 2006

Why would a gym let somene "come back" after they quit? I can see the following year maybe but not in the same year. If we're not teaching lessons like commitment through good times and bad what are we doing?

Date: Mon Aug 7 7:12 PM, 2006

Coach,

Thanks for putting out your perspective... I hadn't looked at it that way before.

The situation at our gym, I think, is rather unique (but please comment if it isn't). After our kids tried out, they were told if they would practice with the seniors or the juniors for a month until teams were decided. Everyone at the gym always knew there would be two senior teams; I think everyone assumed there would be one junior team since there were less than 20 juniors. Well when the teams were posted on the web site, there were two senior teams and two junior teams, and some of the girls who had been practicing as seniors were moved onto one of those junior teams. Since none of the girls/boys involved in the two junior teams were told anything ahead of time, a lot of people were surprised/hurt/upset, and some people quit. Since that time, the teams have been changed back. There is just one junior team (and two senior teams), and all the girls who had been practicing as seniors are now on a senior team.

The girl involved (I'm guessing I know who has been posting) is a wonderful cheerleader and her mom is a great supporter of all the cheerleaders at the gym. But I would imagine she won't come back (unless perhaps the gym encourages her to come back).

Date: Tue Aug 8 10:09 AM, 2006

Coach,

Committment is a good life lesson and my children are very committed and have been cheering since they were five. You could probably count practices they have missed since then on one hand, they left Pop Warner because they felt the girls they were around there were not commited enough and started with allstars.

Our family has made many sacrafices over the last few years to have them in AllStars. It is A LOT of money, especially when you have multiple children cheering.

We are paying you, you are not paying us. Its not like she was quitting her job because she just didn't like it. I was already out some money, why should I continue to pay for something my kid is not happy with? Another $3,000 just so she wasn't a quitter? Would you continue to pay someone for a service you did not get what you expected or wanted? I really don't think you would.

So yes commitment and not giving up are good life lessons, but so is the business side of things.

Date: Tue Aug 8 11:09 AM, 2006

I really feel for you and alot of people will say I'm wrong ,but you are totally right in your statement. Why would anyone countinue to pay for something they are not happy with. That only makes the people your paying happy. Your children and your family should come first. When this costs so much and your kid is not happy what kind of lesson does that teach?To throw away money when people are out of work and don't have food on there table. And have to make scarfices to pay for something you can't afford because your worried about what others think.This is an optional thing. Who's to say whats right or wrong. You do not owe anyone anything. This is business and you are paying for something. If you are not getting what you thought you were paying for why would you countinue ? People will say of she should finish what she started and commitment and I understand that but and there is a big but. Think about what I said about business and money lessons.

Date: Tue Aug 8 12:10 PM, 2006

I agree 100%. It's very easy for people to put you into a category they call quitters, but in my opinion you are not in that category at all. First of all, you were told one thing, but got something different. Secondly, competition season has not started yet. You're getting out BEFORE teams have started competing. It's the ones who leave halfway through competition season because it was more of a commitment than they bargained for, or they don't like the coach, or whatever... they are the ones who would fall into this category.

It's unfortunate you ended up having to pay more than just the price of your daughter not cheering this season. I agree with the person who said you could take tumbling during this time off, I know of other families who have done that. But don't let anyone make you feel bad about making a decision you know was the right one for your family. They are not in your shoes.

Date: Tue Aug 8 12:44 PM, 2006

This is not a case of "quitting". Like what was said above, if it was mid season things would be different. This family made a decison not to participate due to their childs placement, and thats that. In this case I feel as if you were almost decived. Being on a Senior team one year, you expect to continue on the same path.....not decrease a level. "Visons" take time to make.....I think it would be only fair to let these kids know they were going to move down a level prior to the team anouncements. I dont understand why anyone is shocked at the way these moms feel. Wouldnt you be upset if this happened to your child? If you were our $1100 because you were blindsided? With that said, what about these kids? Thats what this is all about right? Making them happy, giving them the oppurtunities they have worked so hard for. Unfortunitly the world isnt fair.......and if any leason is tought here.......thats would be the one. You dont always get what you want, and it is important for these kids to know. But standing up for yourself when you belive you are being wronged, that is a valuable trait that I want my children to have.

Date: Tue Aug 8 1:18 PM, 2006

I understand what you all are saying. If you're child isn't happy by all means quit. Life is short. Just don't expect to return in the same year once things appear more to your likings. Then again, a lot of gyms wil allow this so maybe it'll work out for you. I know the older more expeienced gyms won't go for it. They don't need to. By the time you pay your deposit and cancellation fee they've got their profit margin anyways. (A system put in place because of these types of customers in the first place)

The most successful All Star families are those that find a program they can simply trust. Hard decisions have to be made and not everyone wil be happy at first. 99 out of a hundred will be happy if the long run if they trust and work hard. No gyms out there are in the business of "wronging" or "decieving" or "lieing". Quite the opposite. A lot of sleepless nights go into the decision making.

One last thing. If you assume that going from a Senior team to a Junior team always means going down a level.....well then you just don't understand the sport.

Date: Tue Aug 8 1:49 PM, 2006

Coach,

First off I only posted my story to go along with whoever started this thread. I never meant it to turn to be about myself and my daughter in particular. I think what that mother and myself were looking for is coming up with something to help us all in the long run. The gyms and especially our kids.

Apparently from the size of this thread "these types of customers" are not just one in 100 as you put it. What are "these types of customers?" You know nothing of my child, myself, or my situation and believe me I know enough about the sport and plenty about the gym and the kids there.

I also never asked for my child to return, someone else brought that up. It was never a thought for us and it was never offered to my daughter anyway. In fact, no coach has even spoken to my child personally about it before or after it happened. It is not the point of my post nor the point of this thread.

I am not out to get back at anybody or make anyone look bad or I would be using names and not doing this on this type of forum. We loved our coaches and our gym and think they are wonderful talented people. In our case contracts and deadlines and counting chickens before they hatch came in to play. I would like to see a way around this and something good for everyone come out of it.

Date: Tue Aug 8 2:35 PM, 2006

Obveiously you dont understand. You used the word "quit" again. This is NOT a case of quiting, but a case of choosing to not to participate this season, there is a difference. I also dont think anyone would want to return next year once this sort of situation occurs, but thats my opinion. The gyms dont need to deal with it? Of corse not, like you said, you have your cancellation fees and deposits anywasys....your happy right? A whole bunch of money that you didnt have to work for. For all you know that person could have spent all year saving to put their child in your program, and thats your additude? Sad, but after that comment, yet another reason why I dont think people would return to your place of buisness. "A system put in place for these kind of customers", customers that have been loyal to you for years, but dont agree with certain decisons. Do you think its fair to catagorize them as "these kind of customers"? 99 out of 100, wow thats a high percent......did you poll that yourself? From the looks of this message board I beg to differ.

I dont belive that there are gyms that purposly "decive", "wrong" or "lie" to their customers, but the truth is.......it happens. Weather you intend on it or not. People dont always understand where you are coming from, or what your logic is. You have to look at it from their prespective.........step outside the box. I dont doubt that these decsions take a long time, and can be stressful on the coaches. My father was a coach for Santa Clara University as well as many others great colleges across the country, trust me I know. But the truth is, you are being paid by these people, and they deserve some respect.

Once last thing. Moving from a Senior team to a Junior team dosent "always" mean going down a level. Im sure it dosent. But in certain cases it dose. And I think we all know that.

Date: Tue Aug 8 2:50 PM, 2006

does....not dose.

Date: Tue Aug 8 3:01 PM, 2006

Thanks for the spelling correction. Do you feel better now?

Date: Tue Aug 8 3:08 PM, 2006

I understand were you coming from but you have to realize one big thing. You make your living doing this. This is a business. You would not be doing this if you didn't make money. Cheerleading just like any sport is a business. Gyms can't run and you cannot coach if they did it for free. Unless I guess you were a very rich person and were donating your time. To me it's you are offering something and charging for it. So I the consumer are paying you for your serves. I surely would not retun to your place of business.

Date: Tue Aug 8 3:30 PM, 2006

To coach wrote:

I understand were you coming from but you have to realize one big thing. You make your living doing this. This is a business. You would not be doing this if you didn't make money. Cheerleading just like any sport is a business. Gyms can't run and you cannot coach if they did it for free. Unless I guess you were a very rich person and were donating your time. To me it's you are offering something and charging for it. So I the consumer are paying you for your serves. I surely would not retun to your place of business.

Perfect! Discussion over.

Date: Tue Aug 8 3:35 PM, 2006

To "Very Concerned"

I want you to know that I understand your stance and respect it. Hopefully you find the right gym for your daughter and most importantly you.

No hard feelings.

Date: Tue Aug 8 3:44 PM, 2006

To Coach,

I'm happy to hear you understand, but the most important thing is for the kids to have fun. This is not about me.

good luck

Date: Tue Aug 8 5:42 PM, 2006

Well, I think it is really good to be able to air these feelings. I have been in cheer 7 years and am totally disillusioned with the gyms. They run a business for profit, doing what they have chosen to do, yet they somehow want to make you feel that you owe them something like blind loyalty. That is just plain dumb. It's bad enough they get it from the kids, adults need to be WAY more savvy. I have seen way too many heart broken hearted kids to buy into it anymore. It's business now, plain and simple. To say that a gym does what is best for the kids first is nonsense. The gym does what is best for the gym. Period. They wrap it up to make it look like a gift for the kids, but we PAY for everything our children receive. I suppose there may be an exception to the rule out there, but I doubt it. At least not a successful one. The business person in me understands why they do what they do. The parent in me resents the way it is made to look like something other than what it is. I know MANY decisions are financial, one example, double and triple teaming to go after the "program awards." Like the trophys, that goes to the GYM. Using my child to get that $, on top of what I am already paying ticks me off. Just like fund raising for equipment. I sure wish I could tell our clients they have to fundraise to buy the equipment I will then use to do the job they are paying me to do! Sounds good to me! It happens and it is what it is, I just think it is time that we parents stopped allowing ourselves to be played. Whew, I feel better now!

Date: Tue Aug 8 6:13 PM, 2006

To My Turn,

Oooooh while i agree with only half of what you said I gotta say I love your candidness. Some of that needed to be said and i love that you did it straight up, to the point and short.

Kudos!