Cheer mom needs advice...HELP!

Date: Thu Jul 20 6:03 PM, 2006

RE: Cheer mom needs advice...HELP!

Date: Thu Jul 20 7:38 PM, 2006

If a 14 yr old (Junior age) kid is a Level 5 cheerleader (has a full or higher), and her Gym has a Level-5 Junior team & a Level-5 Senior team, then guess what team she belongs on?.............correct, the Level-5 Junior team.

If a 15 yr old (Sr age) kid is a Level-4 cheerleader (layout, but no Full), and her Gym has a Sr Level-4 team & a Sr level-5 team, then guess what team she belongs on?...........correct, the Level-4 Sr team. Would it be OK if the Coach put her on the Level-5 Sr team if the team needed her?....sure. But can that Level-4 cheerleader "complain" because she "deserves" to be on the Level-5 team instead of the Level-4?.....no.

It's funny how no one wants to be on a team of kids the same age or skill as themselves. A Level-5 Youth kid feels "held back" being on a Level-5 Youth team, instead of being on a Level-5 Junior team. It's almost like the old saying goes, "I wouldn't want to go to any Club that would let me in".

Everyone needs to keep perspective. Should we teach our kids "finish what you start, as long as you feel like it. If it gets hard, just quit.........or threaten to quit so you can get your way". Hmmmmmm, why is the divorce rate 50%+ in this country?

Life gets hard. We need to teach our kids to finish what they start no matter what. They're currently unhappy? Then the rest of this season will build character and you can just not Tryout again next season (if they still feel that way by April). Sound harsh?.....life is harsh. "But I'll just be wasting my money the rest of the season."...........The lessons learned and character built will be money well spent, and far more valuable than anything else you could spend your money on.

We need to stop raising demanding, spoiled kids that throw a fit when they don't get what they think they want.....and start raising kids that make the best of situation, while doing their best to improve.

Date: Thu Jul 20 8:50 PM, 2006

Keep in mind that when you sign that contract you are also signing that the COACHES CAN MOVE A KID when and where they need to. Remember that.

A 7 Year Veteran Mom

Date: Thu Jul 20 8:51 PM, 2006

Remember that NO ONE..... NOOO OOOOONNNNE WANTs THAT TEAM TO WIN MORE THAN IT'S COACH. When they move kids, it's not cause of the kid but because of the team. Remember that too.

Date: Thu Jul 20 9:03 PM, 2006

I don't agree with keep perspective. It's the summer it seems teams are not yet set. Why should a teen or child be miserable a whole season. There unhappiness would surely bring the team down. Plus children and teens have feelings suffer form depression etc. Teach your kids to finish what they start well that depends. That is for each parent to decide and not for us to pass judgement. To mom sometimes giving it alittle time and speaking with your child and the childs coach will help. They sometimes don't realize a kid dosen't think like an adult. Kids have feelings to and it's good when we acknowlege them. Not all kids are spoiled and I take offense to some of the comments stating that.

Date: Thu Jul 20 9:05 PM, 2006

I understand all that is being said and believe there is most likely a middle ground. Yes, kids should be where they belong. But if your kid is on a level 5 senior team one year, due to the fact that the level 5 junior team was full at the time of her joining, or due to the level 5 team needing her particular skills, then being made to be on the junior team the next year in order to be able to remain on the senior team. Does that make sense? Throw in the fact that the junior team practices make it almost impossible to maintain school work, when combined with the senior team. But being told that the senior team is the only one you are allowed to quit. Well, I will wait for replies.

Date: Thu Jul 20 9:08 PM, 2006

Oh, and I would never expect my child to be put anyplace she didn't deserve to be, or expect front and center or anything. But I would have hoped that last season "paid her dues" to be on the senior team!

Date: Thu Jul 20 10:38 PM, 2006

If the kid is Junior age, they belong on a junior team. If they're lucky enough to be asked to also be on a Sr team......great.

If gyms just did what some of these kids wanted, all Mini kids would be on Youth teams, all Youth kids would be on Junior teams, and all Junior kids would be on Senior teams. All Level-2 kids would be on Level-3 teams, Level-3 kids on Level-4 teams, and level-4 kids on level-5 teams. No one seems to want to be where they are supposed to be age-wise or skill-wise. For some reason, we are teaching our kids that being with their appropriate age/skill group is "beneath them". Way to set them up for success in life. The realities of life will be "real fun" with that mindset. :(

And no one "pays their dues" in the past, and now "deserves" something from their gym. Every year is a different year. Kids should be placed with their correct age.

Date: Thu Jul 20 10:50 PM, 2006

I know at our gym, I feel they have "paid their dues to us" parents over the years and year by doing what's in the best interest of all the kids, even when we didn't initially understand what/why they were doing it.

I don't think someone "paying their dues" for a year, should make them be "entitled" to something contrary to what the gym's plans are. At our gym, they have to lookout for th best interests of hundreds of kids, not just that one. Sometimes we parents forget that because we (truthfully) really only have our kid's best interest in mind. We don't have to deal with "big picture" stuff like the gym does.

I've just learned to trust them because they've proven to me over the years that they know what they're doing. It always seems to work out for the best in the end.

Date: Fri Jul 21 8:33 AM, 2006

If you guys are foolish enough to sign contracts without knowing whether or not your kid will be happy where they are placed, I'm not sure I have a whole lot of sympathy. I didn't realize there were programs in Northern California that forced you to sign on the dotted line before you even knew what team your child would be on. That's ridiculous - I'd "shop" elsewhere.

Date: Fri Jul 21 10:02 AM, 2006

I totally agree with contracts. My son has been in cheer for 6 years now. We have learned not to commit so fast. Contracts are for the gyms purpose only. (Money). They can be broken. It will just cost you what you've put out so far. If your child isn't going to be happy it is foolish to continue. A year is a long time to be unhappy. You all have to remember this is optional . It's not something you have to do. You can chose to go along or not. That has to be your decision. That's why there are so many different programs. There is nothing wrong with going somewhere else if it is for the best of your child.

Date: Fri Jul 21 10:16 AM, 2006

OK, I will try this again. I said

"Oh, and I would never expect my child to be put anyplace she didn't deserve to be, or expect front and center or anything. But I would have hoped that last season "paid her dues" to be on the senior team!"

She was ON the senior team last year and now has to compete juniors as well to keep her spot. Was that not clear? The general opinion is that they are doing it to gain program awards....more $ for the gym. If all the kids who are in this position walked, the senior team would be depleted my almost half, and most of the best tumblers. Ok, now blast away.

Date: Fri Jul 21 11:05 AM, 2006

I totally agree with you, if they placed your daughter on the senior team last year for whatever reason then she has the right to at least maintain what was given to her previously. Last year she had to do it because of gym needs, well she needs to be repaid for her graciousness by being allowed to remain on the team they placed her on last year. To bribe her by FORCING her to be on a junior team is insane. Just because coaches should be allowed to make decisions to better their programs does not take away from the fact that they need to remain fair and take personal needs into consideration. It is difficult to be a good student if you are attending practice for 2 teams. We were previously at a gym that FORCED girls to be on the sr or jr level teams to have the privelege to be on the sr coed team. So if you wanted to be on sr coed and you were a girl you were on 2 teams without a doubt, there were even some girls doing 3 teams.

Date: Fri Jul 21 11:16 AM, 2006

Contracts wrote:

If you guys are foolish enough to sign contracts without knowing whether or not your kid will be happy where they are placed, I'm not sure I have a whole lot of sympathy. I didn't realize there were programs in Northern California that forced you to sign on the dotted line before you even knew what team your child would be on. That's ridiculous - I'd "shop" elsewhere.

OK, my bad... I have only heard of pre-team selection contracts. Who in NOR-CAL does not have you sign prior? Just curious, might want to check them out next season should my gym continue to hold the YOU MUST PAY OR DIE contract over our heads.

Date: Fri Jul 21 11:31 AM, 2006

MUST PAY OR DIE. Had to laugh.! You know if a gym wants your kid they will bend the rules. I have seen very few gyms willing to let people walk out without a fight if it benefits there teams. (call it favortisim or whatever you'd like) happens all the time and I've seen it personally. There is always a gym out there that will fit you and your child needs. You have to be willing to seek them out. Don't be pushed around by what others think. And by all means don't be afraid to stand up for your child! No one else will and that will show your child they can have someone in there corner it means alot to a kid.

Date: Fri Jul 21 11:55 AM, 2006

So with the contracts that you have all signed it says that 1. You need to pay in full even if your child quits and 2. The coaches have the right to move your child after you sign the contract.

Is that what I am understanding? We sign a contract but it only states that if you are not current that your child will be taken out of the routine and not allowed to practice. It does not state anything about paying the full amount once you have signed. Interesting.

Date: Fri Jul 21 12:02 PM, 2006

I have a question. Is your child's skill level exactly the same or higher than the kids on the senior 5 team? Also is she upset that she is on Juniors because of the grandure of being able to say she is on a Senior 5 team? Junior 5 teams can also qualify for worlds this year. I have seen some junior teams knock the socks off of Senior 5 teams. A junior team did win worlds ya know.

Date: Fri Jul 21 12:08 PM, 2006

Contracts wrote:

If you guys are foolish enough to sign contracts without knowing whether or not your kid will be happy where they are placed, I'm not sure I have a whole lot of sympathy. I didn't realize there were programs in Northern California that forced you to sign on the dotted line before you even knew what team your child would be on. That's ridiculous - I'd "shop" elsewhere.

Obviously you are missing what happens sometimes. The child is put on the team where she/he and parents are happy with the team and her coaches as well. The parent signs the contract and then later down the road she may get moved to a different team, where let's say, she does NOT like her coaches or team.. but too late the contract is signed.
That's where the" too bad, so sad" comes from that some people have to deal with and you are forced to finish the year out paying whether you like it or not.

Date: Fri Jul 21 12:20 PM, 2006

I agree with you that they should not force your child to do two teams and if your child does not want to or it is too much with school etc. then that needs to be addressed. From what I am getting from your posts, if she doesn't do the two teams then she can only do the Jr. team? Is that correct? And last year she was on the Sr. team and she only wants to do that team? Please correct me if I am wrong. If that is the case, then you have to make a decision on what is best for her, either doing both teams to be on the team she wants, or one team and do the Jr. team. I know alot of younger girls that have been on Sr. teams one year and then put on a Jr. team the next year. My daughters best friend was on a Sr. team for three years in a row and then last year was put on a higher level Jr. team. She wasn't excited at first, but ended up having a great time. She is now back on a Sr. team this year and is just as happy. The gym is going to do what is best with what they have skill, age level, and stunt wise. It may just be that she is needed most on the Jr. team for her specific skills and abilities and not doing the Sr. team will not hurt that team as much as the other. If you can't live with that, you may need to find another program.

Date: Fri Jul 21 12:20 PM, 2006

At our gym we sign the contract at registration. Teams are not picked prior to this date. They then start conditioning in "practice groups" then we are told what team they will be on. So I guess that I was foolish in agreeing to sign under the assumption of what team my child would be on. And yes it does say if your child leaves for any reason (moving, school, parent punishment etc.) that we will be billed for the balance due for the season. HMMMM.... I am glad that I know it really is not a common practice to have parents sign prior to team placements. Now I know the 411!