Really it was just an idea i had, but if we don't use it no biggy. It won't hurt my feelings in the slightest. It was really fun to get the creative juices flowing. Thanks for the inputs we all make a great team!!
It would be a nice gesture to include Fierce, even though they are not attending they did earn a bid. What do you all think?
Maybe "flying FIERCE like BULLETS"
Also, I hate to disagree with the teacher, but I don't think the "and" should be there before overtake. I'm not a teacher but I do proofread lots of documents in my line of work.
Any other grammar whizzes out there want to weigh in?
From NO.CAL to SO.CAL, the XTREME ELITE from California are flying like FIERCE BULLETS with POWER to the MAGIC Kingdom!
O C the FUSION we'll create when we CHEERFORCE-fully, at a steady PACE, and overtake you like a REBEL STEALTH bomber.
You will read it on CHEERGYMS.COM...To every AMERICAN...What an ODYSSEY! They came with SCV (Serious Cheer Viciousness) and took over our WORLDS...
California united for VICTORY.
I'm not a teacher nor do I write for a living, but I really have to agree with the poster who disagreed with the teacher. The sentence "OC the FUSION..." has CHEERFORCE-fully as an adverb (right?); however, the way it's written now there's no verb to describe. This is why I think it should be "OC the FUSION we'll create when we CHEERFORCE-fully, at a steady PACE, overtake you like a REBEL STEALTH bomber."
Like I said, I'm no expert so I could be way off.
Also, what about changing "... like FIERCE BULLETS with POWER to ..." to "... like BULLETS with FIERCE POWER to ..."?
-- Edited by Tamara on Wednesday 1st of April 2009 09:44:19 AM
If you look at the sentence without the prepositional phrase "at a steady Pace" you can see that the sentence makes sense without the "and." The "and" shouldn't be there.
I think it's all how you interpret Cheerforce-fully. If you read it as "cheer forcefully" the verb is cheer. So to say "O C the fusion we'll create when we cheer forcefully, at a steady pace, and overtake you etc... makes sense. But if you read cheerforcefully as a new adverb created for the shirt (to describe overtake), then you have to take away the "and" because it should read "oc the fusion we'll create when we cheerforcefully at a steady pace overtake you, etc... So it's the difference between cheer forcefully, or just forcefully (with the cheer in there just for the gym name). I would also change No. Cal to NorCal, to be closer to their name (since they aren't No Cal Elite). Just a suggestion.
I think it's a cute idea but I have to agree it's a lot of words which might make the shirt expensive and hard for people passing by to read? They would have to take the time to stop and really read through it. But I like having all the gym names in there, pretty cool.
Maybe what we should do is pick like 5 of the t-shirt ideas and vote on them like the WORLDS post. We can vote through the weekend. Then the one with the most votes on Monday morning will be the winner. Something like that?
I think it's all how you interpret Cheerforce-fully. If you read it as "cheer forcefully" the verb is cheer. So to say "O C the fusion we'll create when we cheer forcefully, at a steady pace, and overtake you etc... makes sense. But if you read cheerforcefully as a new adverb created for the shirt (to describe overtake), then you have to take away the "and" because it should read "oc the fusion we'll create when we cheerforcefully at a steady pace overtake you, etc... So it's the difference between cheer forcefully, or just forcefully (with the cheer in there just for the gym name). I would also change No. Cal to NorCal, to be closer to their name (since they aren't No Cal Elite). Just a suggestion.
I think it's a cute idea but I have to agree it's a lot of words which might make the shirt expensive and hard for people passing by to read? They would have to take the time to stop and really read through it. But I like having all the gym names in there, pretty cool.
How about this: O C the FUSION we'll create with our CHEERFORCE and steady PACE, we overtake you like a REBEL STEALTH bomber.
From NOR CAL to SO CAL, the XTREME ELITE from California are FIERCE-ly flying like BULLETS with POWER to the MAGIC Kingdom!
O C the FUSION we'll create with CHEERFORCE and a steady PACE, when we overtake you like a REBEL STEALTH bomber.
You will read it on CHEERGYMS.COM...To every AMERICAN...What an ODYSSEY! They came with SCV (Serious Cheer Viciousness) and took over our WORLDS...
California united for VICTORY.
It is A LOT to put on a T-shirt. I had NO idea how many teams we had going from California..Impressive! I really hope California teams root eachother on. WE could blow the roof off the place. I know I will be there rooting for all of you! So proud!
-- Edited by P&R Girls on Wednesday 1st of April 2009 12:41:05 PM
wow, shirt ideas all sound fun. I would like to buy one regardless the outcome of the final product. However, our team is called ODYSSEYSTRUCK...not just odyssey. jtlyk!
Is it just me or is the same person having severl screen names
PROUD NB P&R GIRLS ONYA
They write exactly the same
My team is not going to Worlds this year but I really want a shirt
What would be the point in having 3 screen names if they are all anonymous? What is the purpose of even saying that? I don't know who ONYA or PROUDNB are but if we write like eachother then I guess great minds think alike! Why are there people always out there trying to call people out for stupid things. Ridiculous! I have ONE screen name. I didn't even know you could have more than one since it is related to your email address. I do have to question, though, how many do you have?
I believe you can only have multiple screen names if you have multiple email accounts. You can't register a new screen name with the same email address.
Anyways, back to topic. What is the best way to correct OdysseyStruck on the shirt? That's a tough one.
Also, Rebel is actually Rebels, isn't it? Maybe change the wording to "overtake you like STEALTH bomber REBELS" ??
Or even "the REBELS came with SCV . . ." and make the top line "overtake you like a STEALTH bomber"
I believe you can only have multiple screen names if you have multiple email accounts. You can't register a new screen name with the same email address.
Anyways, back to topic. What is the best way to correct OdysseyStruck on the shirt? That's a tough one.
Also, Rebel is actually Rebels, isn't it? Maybe change the wording to "overtake you like STEALTH bomber REBELS" ??
Or even "the REBELS came with SCV . . ." and make the top line "overtake you like a STEALTH bomber"