Anonymous wrote:

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I have a question for everyone Gym owners, Coaches, Parents, Kids (whom parents work hard to pay the bills and yes Cheerleading is a monthly bill!!!) Am I wrong in believing that coaches are paid? Or do they volunteer their time? If they are paid then wouldn't they be "Paid Professional". Then as a professional they should Coach. It is what they are being paid for right? If a child isn't paying attention make them run laps, do push up, or whatever stretching exercise that particular cheerleader hates. If its a problem with a parent. I would hope your Gym has a separate "Team Manager" from the coach. Complaints should go through this person. No words to cause to cause any harm ever need be said between Coach or Parent. To cut parents out of practice thats not the answer. Most athletes and almost all world class athletes don't come alone they come with family. It's the family that supports the athlete. The athlete supports the gym. With no family means no athlete with no athlete, no gym, no gym means no team. If your a coach and you cant handle the little things that some parents say. Maybe this job isn't for you. When you are the Coach,Leader,or Captain you WILL be criticized. It comes with the territory. Get Over It.. Now Gym Owners let me ask you this, In your gym is it a closed practice? If so do you have private lessons? Can parents come in the gym and watch those? I'm just wondering if someone lets say from another team comes in for privates parents get to watch. But now I want join the team and support the gym the parents are kicked out. Let me get this right, I can watch privates which shows no true support to the gym. But Put the Gym Team Name on my back show support, pride, and loyalty and get a big sorry practices are closed to team members familys. If you would like to watch your childs skills you'll just have to pay more and get them in privates. NOW THATS A TRUE FAMILY ATMOSPHERE. Remember this if anything.. COACHES ARE PAID PROFESSIONALS paid to coach. So just coach the team put a competitive product on the mat,then who can say a word.

 

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You bring up some very interesting points in your post, yet it does not fully address the misbhaving parent. Why should I punish the child for the parent intentionally distracting them? Why punish the child if it is the parent trying to live/tumble/stunt/compete through them?

If I give them conditioning as a punishment I am using in in a negative way, which will def make the child not like conditioning. I know that if I trulywant the child to progress in all areas, conditioning must play a part of it. So that is not the answer in this scenarion that you put forward, I think.

I don't think it is about not being able to handle criticism. it is the TAP principle. Time and Place. Trying to convince all the parents in the lobby/waiting room/parent room/parking lot that  Coach ________ should not be allowed to work there, or that your child is not progressing fast enough, is talking to the wrong people. They can not always help you solve the problem. Most times they will stab you, support you, or stay as far away from you as they can. If a parent has issues, it is not to be settled in the lobby just so they can prove the point to their friends, or even in front of the child. It is behind closed doors at a time that is mutually agrreable for both staff and parent. Grabbing the coach right in the middle of teaching the pyramid and they "ain't getting it" is not the right time to question why your child is not flying...JMO. All making a scene will do is guarenntee your exit from the program.

Are coaches paid to coach? Yes. but not as much as many parents like to think.(I have already spoken to this before so no need to keep posting salry issues in this sport) As a committed paid professional there are many hours I work for the gym that I do not get paid for. I work from home writing, planning scheduling, etc. I go in at 11:00-12:00 and don't leave until between 9:00 and (30 that night..if there are no problems to be resolved. yet coaching as you say I may only be on the floor from 4-7 which is what is being "paid" for. There are numerous free privates thrown in for kids who really can't afford them but need them, or just working an extra 15 minutes with a child after practice that I rarely get credit, respect or paid for. Do I mind? No! Because I love what i do and I love the kids I teach. I want to see them all progress and if I can extend myself a little to make that happen then I will. Are some making out like fat cats which seems to be what you are getting to? Probably...but not the majority. 

Since we do not give privates to members from other local gyms I can't speak towards that. I want the family to be there. I want you there at pep rallies like this Thursday, i want you there each night when your child's team performs for you, i want you there at competitions, I want you there if there are any issues that we need to straighten out together. I just do not want them disrupting practice. As I have said, we rarely close a practice. If I personally have a probelm with a parent such as you describe I will stop what I am doing and ask them to stop. If they do not I will ask them to leave for that session...so as not to punish the good parents.  If they continue to coach over me, or cause a disruption in the lobby, then I would tell them to schdule a meeting with me and then tell them that they need get on board, to find another program, or coach their kid themselves. And believe me I would do it in a very nice way.

Anonymous wrote:

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I can agree with some of the things you say but not all. You are paid to coach and coach is what you should do. You said dont punish them with conditioning. I dont agree. If your not paying att. then run a lap. It doesnt matter if its your mom, the ice cream truck, or whatever. Your not paying att. then run. Your the coach make them listen. When i was young and you didnt pay att. you did something not so fun like laps, push-ups, ect. In EVERY sport you need to learn to block out the crowd, what better time to learn then practice? I did talk about the bad apple parents. This should all be handled by the team manager. If coach has a prob. with a parent then she needs to talk to the team manager. The team manager needs to hold a priv. meetimg with the parent and set some rules. 1 strike 2 strike 3 strikes you out. Not the cheerleader but the parent. If the parent takes the kid with well then that child/parent wasnt ment for this team anyways. If the parent has a problem with a coach then they need to do the same. Talk to the manager THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR.

  It doesnt matter how much your paid but that you are paid. Yes parents do vol. their time to schools and they do get to sit in class with their kids. Most people dont vol. their time to a class their kid is not in. But lets leave school out of this. Cuz I dont pay a monthly fee for prac. $1000.00 dollar uni's, practice clothes, Tour. hotels, and so on...  You already know what im talking about.  Coachs should have thick skin cuz YOUR NEVER GOING TO PLEASE EVERYONE. Win 5 tour. in a row and some mom will still have something to say. Deal with it.. But to lock out the good parents because of one or too. Sounds like the coach is taking the easy way out. No parents NO bad feelings. WELL THAT WORNG...  4-6 thousand a season. I better get more then 2:30ten times a season.

Lets go this route say im installing some flooring in your house. Your paying for it but I tell you I dont want you here when Im doing the floor. You will see the fisished product when Im done. Like it or not you cant be there till its done. ARE YOU HIRING ME??????    Would it really have hurt me for you to be there? No because im a paid professional I know the product I will be giving you is top notch. PLEASE come watch. By all means bring friends and family i might just get more work. Just like you would prob. get more cheerleaders.

If its not the criticism that bothers you thenwhy not let the parents in??

 I believe a TRUE coach is there for the kids. IF it is the kids you are truly out there for then you should even notice the parents.  If the parents who do pa

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yes, if you are a professional and you know what you are doing then you should have no doubts in your mind.  There is no need for closed practices or blinds.  What are you trying to hide???? We all know you can not hide anything in this industry.

Anonymous wrote:

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I woudnt mind parents in a viewing room if the windows were blacked out so they had no way to communicate with there child for the two hours they are there. It isnt very long. Parents would still be able to see, and kids wouldnt be distracted as much. I think more distracting then the parents though, are the clocks. I know i look at the clock numerous times during practice haha.

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sorry i had a few gramatical errors. wouldn't* their*

Recently while at practice I heard a few parents talking and immediately the boards came to my mind and this subject. All I can say is, Although I love being in the gym and using the internet and every now and then observe practice but after hearing these parents,I couldn't disagree with any gym that chooses to close it's practices.I believe this leaves less distraction of the athlete to parent,parent to coaches and especially parent to parent gossip of who's flying,basing,tumbling,crossovers,and the loud gasp! when a stunt comes down or even near drops.SOOO annoying.If you really like your gym and coaches and truly trust them. Then viewing the last minutes of practice shouldn't be too big of a deal.Yes, we do pay alot of money to the gym for our kids but there has to be a line drawn somewhere that allows them do thier job and coach.

Impressive use of emoticons! 

I agree with your points, but I still wouldn't want closed practice as it seems to be fairly calm at our gym (aside from the GASPS of falling stunts ).  However, if they closed it, I would deal with it. 

Our gym has activities for parents every year called "Parent Appreciation Week".  They have game nights with prizes, a manicurist come for manis and pedis, a massaeuse for shoulder massages and other stuff.   They do it during the practice times with the idea of "team" building between the parents.  

They did take the clock down.  I thought it was broken, but there may be more to it than that after reading these posts. 

the MAJORITY of gyms that do hold closed practices, don't close ALL their practices.  only some, when its necessary for the athletes to pay attention for the safety of their athletes.  or for choreography, when the goal is to get as much done in a specific amount of time.

i do understand that parents pay the bills, and therefore are the paying customers.  all gyms do it differently though.  some close practices more than others.  some never close them.  in my opinion, instead of criticizing other gyms for doing it a certain way, if you don't like what your gym does, find another gym!  thats the beauty of america, we can spend our money where and how we want to!  believe it or not, there are some parents who may not care to watch every moment of every dropped stunt, bailed tumbling pass, or lap running punishment.  some parents who pay the bills, yet still just drop their kid off for practice.  or some parents who sit in the farthest corner of the waiting room and focus on whatever work they need to accomplish.  they're the parents who don't mind closed practices, and the families that would prosper at a gym who "close the blinds."  some parents HAVE to be there.  for whatever reason, whether for them or their kids.  these parents and families would probably NOT prosper at a "closed" gym.

take your kid somewhere the whole family is happy if thats what you're looking for- a good FAMILY ORRIENTED gym.  or take your kid somewhere RIDICULOUSLY competitive where competition is more important then the whole family, if thats what you're looking for.  i mean, it IS your money, take it where you'll be the happiest.

good luck to all gyms this year.  i hope choreography is/was successful, and you're first competition is successfull, whether your "blinds" are open or closed!

Amac wrote:

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the MAJORITY of gyms that do hold closed practices, don't close ALL their practices.  only some, when its necessary for the athletes to pay attention for the safety of their athletes.  or for choreography, when the goal is to get as much done in a specific amount of time.

i do understand that parents pay the bills, and therefore are the paying customers.  all gyms do it differently though.  some close practices more than others.  some never close them.  in my opinion, instead of criticizing other gyms for doing it a certain way, if you don't like what your gym does, find another gym!  thats the beauty of america, we can spend our money where and how we want to!  believe it or not, there are some parents who may not care to watch every moment of every dropped stunt, bailed tumbling pass, or lap running punishment.  some parents who pay the bills, yet still just drop their kid off for practice.  or some parents who sit in the farthest corner of the waiting room and focus on whatever work they need to accomplish.  they're the parents who don't mind closed practices, and the families that would prosper at a gym who "close the blinds."  some parents HAVE to be there.  for whatever reason, whether for them or their kids.  these parents and families would probably NOT prosper at a "closed" gym.

take your kid somewhere the whole family is happy if thats what you're looking for- a good FAMILY ORRIENTED gym.  or take your kid somewhere RIDICULOUSLY competitive where competition is more important then the whole family, if thats what you're looking for.  i mean, it IS your money, take it where you'll be the happiest.

good luck to all gyms this year.  i hope choreography is/was successful, and you're first competition is successfull, whether your "blinds" are open or closed!

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This whole topic is a joke.

All you ever see on T.V. is " there are not enough  parents involved in kids lives these days." "The youths of today are out of control. We need more parents involved."  "If parents of today were involved in their kids lives there wouldn't be so much gang activity and our children would prosper." "Todays youth are out of control."

But now all of you seem to think that a parent whom is trying to be involved is interfering in your work. PEOPLE THIS IS CHEERLEADING....  It's A SPORT and thats all that it is.

Someone refered to school in this thread. COACHES ARE NOT SCHOOL TEACHERS. Dont compare yourself to one. Or even compare cheer to school.
If you do then you better take a good look in the mirror and see which is more important. School before Cheer in MY house. It doesnt take a math wiz to teach an eight count.

What seems to be the problem?  I'll tell you what I think it is. Its the coaches who think that they need to be parents on the floor. They dont. They need to coach. Closing prac. in this economy is a joke. Some parents drive 1 hour one way. And you want them to go home, "fnd something else to do with their lives for those 2 hours. THEY DID FIND SOMETHING TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES, THEY HAD CHILDREN AND WANT TO BE A ParT OF THEIR LIVES. YOU KNOW "BE & STAY INVOVLED."

As coaches you say "STAY AWAY" but then come up to a parent and say your daughter/son really needs to work on his/her dance part of the routine. How can one help if they dont know whats going on. Did you send a video home? Did you offer to let that parent video the dance to prac. at home? So be involved but only when I need you right??
 
Here is a sample from a letter written by a teacher of 30 years. (I dont know if any of you have been coaching for 30 years but take this advise please.)

"Parents you are the SINGLE MOST influencial PERSON in YOUR childs life.The greater the time you are able to assist, monitor,and involve yourself in his/her learning and activities the greater your childs successes."

Doesn't really seem to me like thats what all the coaches in this post would agree with. I'm also not sure if you have to have a degree to be a cheer coach like you do a teacher. So please again please dont compare or confuse the two.

Coaches are not teachers,mentors,or anything other than a coach.
I love our coaches in our gym they are the best. Are they there to teach my daughter anything other then cheer, no. She has teachers at school, we read and do homework at home, she needs NO mentor at this young age as long as parents are involved. The person I would hope SHE PICKS as a mentor would be something other than a coach of any sport. Cuz again it is just a sport. You can rebut that if you like. But I dont know how you could if your a parent.
You would just be lying to yourself.

Now closing of prac. I dont agree. OURS are closed.Do I like it? NO not at all. Would I pull my daughter just because of closed prac. NO... Do I think they are good. NO... Do I think prac. should be closed at all. Sure there are times I think it should be closed.(If I was a coach.)  Closed prac. for choreography week, The week before Competitions, Maybe a night here or their to tweek choreography. Anything else is a joke. Closed summer prac. when only half the team shows cuz its not mandatory. Close prac when there is 6 weeks inbetween competitions. Those are a joke to me. Close them for crunch time thats what crunch time is all about. Parents will understand. Even the "bad" ones as you say.

You have to give a little to get a little. If your not going to let the parents be a part of this SPORT do not expect The help that YOU AS COACHES need at and during the competitions. (Its hard for 4 or 5 coaches to keep track of a 100 kids, do a 100 kids make-up and hair every morning.) I dont know how many gyms ask for help from their parents for these things but ours do..

AND those bitchy parents as YOU ALL like to talk about, ARE ALWAYS THERE HELPING THE TEAM and not just their kid.  

TEAM SPORT remember. PARENTS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED PART OF THE TEAM CUZ THEY ARE THE DRIVING FORCE.... they are the one who get their kids there 3 to 4 nights a week (after working all day) and make sure their on-time. (We all know how coaches are about being on-time.) Most 8- 15 year olds don't drive. Coaches dont pick them up. So getting them there on-time is a parents duty. And great parent or bad parent they always get them there on time...

So ease up and look in the mirror and ask yourself " Is closing prac. really that much of an advantage for you as a coach. All I see is that it harbors bad feelings towards the GYM, GYM owner, and its Coaches........

Anonymous wrote:

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You started out so well and then you went off on a tangent disrespecting coaches...

"Coaches are not teachers,mentors,or anything other than a coach."

I would hope that as a parent you would surround yourself and your child with family and friends who will help you raise your child with the core values you have come to believe in.

The statement above tells me you do not understand that

"It takes a village to raise a child!"

I have this conversation with parents all the time and my response always is, "I hope that the school teachers and I have done a good job at raising your child because we spend more time with them than you do!" School from 8 - 3, practice from 5 - 8, homework til 11, sleep til 630 do it again... Where do the parents fit into their child's schedule? The drive to and from school and practice that is if they aren't riding the bus or carpooling. AND remember children spend time with their friends as well leaving even less time for parents.

Considering that I am a teacher, coach and a father, I cannot believe that you would state

"The person I would hope SHE PICKS as a mentor would be something other than a coach of any sport. Cuz again it is just a sport."

Again you fail to realize the importance of coaches... My daughter's soccer coach is a very soft spoken gentleman "good cop". The assistant coach is more of a drill sergeant "bad cop". I do not agree with everything they say and do but I understand the message they are delivering to my child. My child has already bought into what it is they are preaching so much so that I have already seen a difference in her on the field and at home.

As to closed practices:  The original topic -

I do not agree with them but I do understand the message behind them.

We as a society do not always have to agree but we shouldn't go around disrespecting the profession, that is wrong!!!

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I TRULY MEAN NO DISRESPECT. Im SO sorry if it came off that way. AGAIN I LOVE OUR COACHES !!!!!!!  These are some of the greatest girls I have ever met and people I would love my daughter to look up to. I wouldn't trade them for any others. I only ment that I hope my child finds her way into law, or maybe becoming a Doctor, or CEO of a major Fashion Co. She loves school and she's good at it. All because of EVERY teacher she has had so far in her young life. She loves Cheer, and its because of her coaches that she loves it and I feel she's very good at it, again ALL because of her coaches. I never said coaches were not important. They are Very important. In this sport you are part of their lives,(Unlike in a youth league where you have diff. coaches every year.) but that should make you a part of the parents lives too.

You said alot when you stated how much time a parent gets to spend with their child between school,sports,& homework. (Doesn't leave much for friends outside school, cheer, & homework.) It seems to me that all these parents are looking for is a little time to enjoy their kids. What better time is there than to WATCH your child excell at something she truly enjoys? Rather then get to talk about it on the ride home. There is NOTHING in my life that I ENJOY more than watching my daughter out there with her team on the floor. I dont have to be in the middle of it, But boy the joy I get from just watching her on that floor. No matter if she's standing laughing with teammates, Doing her tumble pass, or hangin' all over each one of the coaches. It's been to this day the best part of my life. The ride home is sooo much better.  She'll ask me did you see my tumble pass tonight, or did you she how high this girl got in her tuck,or how stright another teammates lay-out was. Rather then you should have seen this, and this was so awesome, or I finally did my pass I wish you could have been there. I too am a dad. I might not be a teacher, a coach, or anything other than a dad. But I love my little girl. Life is too short. Right now my daughter wants me to be a part of her life, With girls I know that changes. ( I have 4 older sisters) I dread the day she's too big for Daddy, and Daddy becomes Dad. She is vested in this sport and now so am I. I've tried to do my homework. I'm hooked you can call me a total cheer dad. But I have to stand up for these parents. Not all parents go about things the right way,but coaches don't either. One or two bad parents will not make a bad gym. It will just be a gym with a bad parent. Like every other gym in the nation.

 P.S.  So Sorry to ALL coaches for the way I cae off the first time. Our kids love you and need you. But dont just be a part of our kids lives, be a part of our family!!!!!