obsessed parents

Date: Thu Jul 31 9:07 AM, 2008

obsessed parents

Date: Thu Jul 31 9:15 AM, 2008

this should be in thursday gripes.

Tamara · cheergyms.com Master Poster

Anonymous wrote:
this should be in thursday gripes.

No even though the poster makes some excellent points, I think the two places it's already been posted are enough.

Date: Thu Jul 31 10:39 AM, 2008

I agree- it is getting as bad as some child beauty pageants. The parents sucking up to the coaches like they are a god, but once they don't get what they want- they want the coach removed from the gym!

ACEDAD · GURU

Anonymous wrote:

this should be in thursday gripes.

Cheerleading is not allowed in Thursday gripes.

Date: Thu Jul 31 12:43 PM, 2008

Some parents want it more than their kids, sad to say. They don't understand that at that age for the child it is more about making their parents happy than making this their one true sport. They just see how much their parents are into it and try to make them happy. That will soon die down when they get older and want to do other things. The parents need to not focus all of their energy into this until the child decides that this is what they want, and at four or five I doubt that they know if this is their calling. The parents need to just sit back and let the child decide whatmakes THEM happy instead of putting the pressure on their child to make themselves happy. That's a lot for a little one to deal with-their parents happiness depends on what place they make in the squad. If it is an older child then that is different, they are able to push themselves toward what they want and express their needs, a five year old will have a hard time telling their mommy to back off- well for a couple of years. if they don't let them experience anything else they will soon start to resent the sport instead of learning to love it. Competitive attitude grows with the child and at four or five it SHOULD be all about fun, you are only young once!!!!

Date: Thu Jul 31 4:17 PM, 2008

I think that you will have these types of parents in all sports, not just cheer. It's just something we all have to deal with.

Date: Thu Jul 31 5:23 PM, 2008

I was thinking about this after reading another forum so I'll ask you guys! My daughter plays soccer, basketball, and cheers.

There are times during basketball and soccer that I wished she played more or played better but I rarely get that feeling that anything was "unfair". When she performed well she was rewarded with more play time....period.

Cheer is the only place I have found that the amount of time the parents complain or suck up to coaches "can" have a direct effect on the amount of time or position of their kid in the routine. So....

Assuming that there is a real disservice being done to you child, do you as a parent....

1. Deal with it, let the coaches do their job and use it as a life lesson for your child?

2. Become "one of those parents" by constantly talking to the coaches, emailing, and basically speaking up for your kid?

A friend of mind said it was comparable to school where if you thought your child was not placed in an appropriate class then you'd speak to the teachers. Cheer though is this weird world of crazy cheer parents that I'm scared to become one of the Moms we all talk about.

Thoughts?

Amac · Veteran Member

there is a difference between asking questions, and being "one of those" parents. i had NO problem with questions when i was coaching. in fact, i encouraged it! i found the more the parents knew what was HONESTLY going on, the less they complained. and i always gave honest answers, whether it was what mom wanted to hear, or not.

for example, i had one mother of a child that was an absolute plesure to coach. not because she was ooberly talented, but because she busted her butt, never complained, and always tried to make corrections to the best of her ability. was she always in the front? no. or in the air? no. or last pass? no. and almost every practice, her mom would approach me and ask how she was doing. not in a nagging sort of way, just questions. for example, she would say "sally (not her real name) really wants to have her round off tuck in the routine, what does she need to do to make that happen?" and i would reply, "i need her to be landing consisently no matter how tired she is before i can put it in." and mom would say ok. and that would be that. or "why do you have flyers rotating in and out with eachother?"-with her daughter being one of them. and i would reply, "i need to see which girls are going to be the most consistent come competition season. they all know i love them, but i need the strongest girls in the air. sally is doing great, but her knee has been buckling and not staying locked, so i have sarah rotating with her to see which group will work best for the whole team." and she would say ok, and that would be that.

i had no problems with questions, as long as the tone was friendly. there are 2 different ways to ask "why did you take my child out of the air?" one way i would be glad to answer, the other way i'd ask the parent to schedule a meeting with me and my boss to discuss it. but no matter the question, i always gave a honest answer.

Date: Thu Jul 31 9:49 PM, 2008

Anonymous wrote:

I agree- it is getting as bad as some child beauty pageants. The parents sucking up to the coaches like they are a god, but once they don't get what they want- they want the coach removed from the gym!

One crazy mom at a certain socal gym PAYS good money for her daughter to be front and center in cheer AND BEAUTY PAGENTS!!!!!!!!

Date: Thu Jul 31 10:20 PM, 2008

Don't forget to throw in, how the coach handles these types of parents. Some coaches will let parents go ahead and do their talking. Others just ignore it. Ha ha I know one that takes it out on the kid. My favorite is the coach that tells it like it is. Not in a mean way though. Just the straight facts.

Date: Thu Jul 31 10:57 PM, 2008

Anonymous wrote:

Don't forget to throw in, how the coach handles these types of parents. Some coaches will let parents go ahead and do their talking. Others just ignore it. Ha ha I know one that takes it out on the kid. My favorite is the coach that tells it like it is. Not in a mean way though. Just the straight facts.

OH! The coaches can't stand her, or her drama drama, they only deal with her cause they have to!! and they know she is $$$$$$$$$-PATHETIC!

Date: Fri Aug 1 1:14 AM, 2008

Lol, really? But I do feel bad for the kid seriously, can't she see what she is doing to the poor thing. It's more like parading around a trained pony isn't it? Like look at me, I must be a good parent if my daughter has trophies and awards, but in all honesty it's the opposite- she's not into it for her child, it's basically the parents need for attention that makes them push the kids, and the coaches. It gives cheer a bad name. If you do it to make yourself feel better by always wanting your child to be the center of attention-it just makes you look like an ass. There is always one cheer Mom bragging and going on about how much better her child is than the other kids and still expects people to want to be their friend. Rediculous.

Date: Fri Aug 1 1:37 AM, 2008

when is it "OK" to start your kid in private lessons without looking like a pushy mom? They will need it eventually- will the coach recommend it or is there a level that they will get to that it's pretty much a requirement? Do you talk to the coach or the owner if you feel your child isn't getting placed correctly? These are things that maybe someone should answer for some parents that obviously don't know they are going overboard.

CheerTyme Owner · Senior Member

Just a thought....Most 4 or 5 year olds don't know what they want. I have a few little ones who at one practice say they "don't want to do it anymore" and the next practice they are cheerleader of the year. Without the parents pushing them slightly (slightly is the key word) these kids would quit and wonder why they weren't going to cheer practice the next week. I can understand if after several practices the child still is saying they don't want to do it anymore then for sure that parent should listen but a little push for a 4 or 5 year old is ok. And most 4 or 5 year olds will tell you EXACTLY how they feel and what they want. They aren't really at the point of understanding (yet) that if they cheer it makes mommy happy. With all that said I need to say (to stop the backlash) I am 100% against making any aged child do something recreational they don't want to do. Just today I had an AMAZING mother and father come into my gym with their extremly talented 10 year old daughter to tell me she had decided going to her youth group at her church was more important and she wanted to start playing the guitar for her churches band. The mom said to me, "I realized while at the youth group, that I was pushing my daughter into cheering when she really wants to be at the very youth group I am at" The mom also said "I felt like god really handed it to me and made me realize what I was doing and that my daughter was cheering only to make me happy, I feel so horrible!!!" The child was afraid I would be mad, but how can you possibly be mad at a family who is that great and a child who wants to attend church rather than cheer?? I am so impressed with them. It shows me what kind of parent I want to be.

Date: Fri Aug 1 2:36 AM, 2008

Wow, that truely is an example of how parents should be. And yes, yes, yes, four and five year olds are mixed from one minute to the next of what they want to do. The problem that I'm sure we all see is that one, or two parents that are there every year that make us all cringe when they come in because they aren't happy unless their child is the center of attention at all times. They make the coaches miserable. They think year after year that their child is the best on the team, and therefore should be front and center, year after year, and that's just not how it is! They fail to see what the other children have to offer to the team. If they want to have all eyes on their child, maybe they should put them in singular sports like swimming, or golf, or something like that so it is not an issue for them. Even then I'm sure they will find something to complain about.

Date: Fri Aug 1 2:41 AM, 2008

lololololol! And they have probably sold the family heirlooms to pay for it- what will they get in return? An unhappy, stressed child.

Date: Fri Aug 1 7:29 AM, 2008

Anonymous wrote:

Lol, really? But I do feel bad for the kid seriously, can't she see what she is doing to the poor thing. It's more like parading around a trained pony isn't it? Like look at me, I must be a good parent if my daughter has trophies and awards, but in all honesty it's the opposite- she's not into it for her child, it's basically the parents need for attention that makes them push the kids, and the coaches. It gives cheer a bad name. If you do it to make yourself feel better by always wanting your child to be the center of attention-it just makes you look like an ass. There is always one cheer Mom bragging and going on about how much better her child is than the other kids and still expects people to want to be their friend. Rediculous.

I feel bad for the kids who are on a team with a kid like this. No matter how hard they try to move up this kid will be in the way. Mom will pitch a fit she is the best tumbler, dancer, flyer. At some point someone might finally tell her the truth. That all they really like is her money.....Not her...

techeergirl · Member

-- Edited by techeergirl at 08:50, 2008-08-01

Date: Fri Aug 1 9:22 AM, 2008

Anonymous wrote:

Lol, really? But I do feel bad for the kid seriously, can't she see what she is doing to the poor thing. It's more like parading around a trained pony isn't it? Like look at me, I must be a good parent if my daughter has trophies and awards, but in all honesty it's the opposite- she's not into it for her child, it's basically the parents need for attention that makes them push the kids, and the coaches. It gives cheer a bad name. If you do it to make yourself feel better by always wanting your child to be the center of attention-it just makes you look like an ass. There is always one cheer Mom bragging and going on about how much better her child is than the other kids and still expects people to want to be their friend. Rediculous.

Sounds like you may have some issues of your own here. Such a strong opinion it lead me to believe that you have some issues.....