Playing favorites

Date: Fri Oct 26 6:04 AM, 2007

RE: Playing favorites

Date: Fri Oct 26 7:44 AM, 2007

Cheer411 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Interesting I could see checking on coaches within your gym but when I read cheer 411 say she/he was reading messages between coaches and cheerleaders from other gyms has taken it too far. Yes you should see what is happening within your own gyms but who has time to spy on other gyms. Do you have their rosters how do you know which cheerleaders are on those teams? You must really be following the other gyms close to have this information. Why would you want to do that? What purpose does that serve to read messages from other gyms? How do you explain this to your child? Cheer 411 maybe you have a good reason for reading the messages girls have with their coaches from other gyms., Why would you do that? Maybe there is some reason I am missing.

WOW! Do you actually think I have time to spend checking on everyone in the world of cheer?

Those messages are coming to me on a piece of paper because a cheerleader, or two, from the attending gym is concerned and wants others to know what's going on.

I have zero time in my day just to hang out and see what every cheerleader and coach conversation is being typed on MySpace.

I am way to old for petty stuff like this. In addition, I have little time for the "extras". I work 2 full time jobs, have an incredible marriage, and am raising amazing children. This couldn't happen if I spent every waking moment on the computer.

Enough said about me. I was just trying to let everyone know that favortism is displayed in many fashions. Ovbiously, some of my examples, have hit home with a few annoymous posters here on this board. Maybe, this has shed light on what can been done to stop some of the favortism in general. This isn't just a topic for cheerleading, but for all of those that are in a leadership/teaching role.

Have a great day! I need to run off to work my 12 hour day today!

What is interesting is you said you are shocked at what you read from other coaches and gilrs talk about. That is okay i would be embarrassed too if I were you. Cant clean this one up...

Date: Fri Oct 26 8:13 AM, 2007

I think it is important to acknowledge that we all are coming from our own perspectives. We are each wearing rose colored that glasses and seeing things from only our side. I think as Parents we tend to only see our own childs side of the story. That is our job to be the advocate for them and their feelings.

I do however need to acknowledge that it is not the job of the coach to think about the individual feeling of the athlete. They must think about what is best for the entire team. This unfortunately sometimes is NOT what is best for our own daughters or sons. This is not playing favorites, it is doing what is best for the team.

On my daughter's team there is one girl that is point for jumps, middle flier, last tumbling pass and in front for dance. From the outside, it looks like the coaches are playing favorites and some parents have even talked about this child.( everyone knows the parents that sit in the gym and gossip about the kids on the team. I'm pretty sure every gym has some). Recently, we were able to watch the routine and you know what: she was the best flier, best tumbler, best jumper and a darn good dancer. Bottom line:::: She is belongs in those spots.

I think as parents we tend to try and lessen the blow and say, Yeah the coach is playing favorites, but we are doing our kids a disservice. There are people in life that are always going to be better, smarter, prettier, etc. We should be telling our kids to respect this or work harder to get that last pass or point on jumps. Constantly pointing our fingers at the gym and gym owners is really just perpetuating the problem.

Date: Fri Oct 26 10:28 AM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

Cheer411 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Interesting I could see checking on coaches within your gym but when I read cheer 411 say she/he was reading messages between coaches and cheerleaders from other gyms has taken it too far. Yes you should see what is happening within your own gyms but who has time to spy on other gyms. Do you have their rosters how do you know which cheerleaders are on those teams? You must really be following the other gyms close to have this information. Why would you want to do that? What purpose does that serve to read messages from other gyms? How do you explain this to your child? Cheer 411 maybe you have a good reason for reading the messages girls have with their coaches from other gyms., Why would you do that? Maybe there is some reason I am missing.

WOW! Do you actually think I have time to spend checking on everyone in the world of cheer?

Those messages are coming to me on a piece of paper because a cheerleader, or two, from the attending gym is concerned and wants others to know what's going on.

I have zero time in my day just to hang out and see what every cheerleader and coach conversation is being typed on MySpace.

I am way to old for petty stuff like this. In addition, I have little time for the "extras". I work 2 full time jobs, have an incredible marriage, and am raising amazing children. This couldn't happen if I spent every waking moment on the computer.

Enough said about me. I was just trying to let everyone know that favortism is displayed in many fashions. Ovbiously, some of my examples, have hit home with a few annoymous posters here on this board. Maybe, this has shed light on what can been done to stop some of the favortism in general. This isn't just a topic for cheerleading, but for all of those that are in a leadership/teaching role.

Have a great day! I need to run off to work my 12 hour day today!

What is interesting is you said you are shocked at what you read from other coaches and gilrs talk about. That is okay i would be embarrassed too if I were you. Cant clean this one up...

What is there to be cleaned up and why should they be embarrassed? What's on the net is on the net. It is not personal or private and should not be considered to be private as it can be read by you, your boss, your teacher or anyone else who wants to look at it. If you think it is private, you are deluding yourself.

Date: Fri Oct 26 12:35 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Cheer411 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Interesting I could see checking on coaches within your gym but when I read cheer 411 say she/he was reading messages between coaches and cheerleaders from other gyms has taken it too far. Yes you should see what is happening within your own gyms but who has time to spy on other gyms. Do you have their rosters how do you know which cheerleaders are on those teams? You must really be following the other gyms close to have this information. Why would you want to do that? What purpose does that serve to read messages from other gyms? How do you explain this to your child? Cheer 411 maybe you have a good reason for reading the messages girls have with their coaches from other gyms., Why would you do that? Maybe there is some reason I am missing.

WOW! Do you actually think I have time to spend checking on everyone in the world of cheer?

Those messages are coming to me on a piece of paper because a cheerleader, or two, from the attending gym is concerned and wants others to know what's going on.

I have zero time in my day just to hang out and see what every cheerleader and coach conversation is being typed on MySpace.

I am way to old for petty stuff like this. In addition, I have little time for the "extras". I work 2 full time jobs, have an incredible marriage, and am raising amazing children. This couldn't happen if I spent every waking moment on the computer.

Enough said about me. I was just trying to let everyone know that favortism is displayed in many fashions. Ovbiously, some of my examples, have hit home with a few annoymous posters here on this board. Maybe, this has shed light on what can been done to stop some of the favortism in general. This isn't just a topic for cheerleading, but for all of those that are in a leadership/teaching role.

Have a great day! I need to run off to work my 12 hour day today!

What is interesting is you said you are shocked at what you read from other coaches and gilrs talk about. That is okay i would be embarrassed too if I were you. Cant clean this one up...

What is there to be cleaned up and why should they be embarrassed? What's on the net is on the net. It is not personal or private and should not be considered to be private as it can be read by you, your boss, your teacher or anyone else who wants to look at it. If you think it is private, you are deluding yourself.

You are absolutely correct there is no need to cover this up. As least CHEER411 has posted under an id. All you annoymous people crack me up. You all take on this board when you don't need an id. What ever. yeah I am doing the same because it's just annoying that there are a few of you that continue to attack the regulars. it appaers that you have way more time on your hands then those that have been on this board for a year or more.

Darn skippy that it's ok to check out the world wide web. it's even more ok to do research on those that are involving your kids and even checking on your kids. i will continue to check on my kids and all of there friends unitl my kids no longer rely on me to buy all the electronic gadgets to allow them to communicate with there friends. until my kids are able to pay for the electricity it takes to keep those electronic gadgets charged and until my kids are able to feed themselves 24/7. yeah i will even pick out the friends they can hang out with. which means i will monitor there myspaces, look at their texting logs and anything else i pay for that is my right.

ROCK ON CHEER411! You are in the right to know the large environment your kids are involved in.

I have to agree with checking on the current coaches and potentially new coaches. I have seen coaches encourage underaged drinking on some of these sites and it's not good.

If you teenagers believe it's not write to look at your personal sites delete them. and keep to yourselves.

cheerwatcher · GURU

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
All you annoymous people crack me up. You all take on this board when you don't need an id. What ever. yeah I am doing the same because it's just annoying that there are a few of you that continue to attack the regulars. it appaers that you have way more time on your hands then those that have been on this board for a year or more.

THANK YOU!!!! Amen to this statement. I was all for bringing back the anonymous posts but it seems like its starting to get back to the old nasty posts. Its not just opinions anymore when people start attacking others. People, who cares what cheer411 does with her own time. If she checks the myspaces of her kids and her kids friends thats her business. As far as coaches myspaces, I think they should be private and never add cheerleaders. There needs to be a respect level and I feel as though it could be tampered if they become friends outside of the gym.This also includes things like texting between coaches and cheerleaders. Just my opinion.

Date: Fri Oct 26 2:05 PM, 2007

cheerwatcher wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
All you annoymous people crack me up. You all take on this board when you don't need an id. What ever. yeah I am doing the same because it's just annoying that there are a few of you that continue to attack the regulars. it appaers that you have way more time on your hands then those that have been on this board for a year or more.

THANK YOU!!!! Amen to this statement. I was all for bringing back the anonymous posts but it seems like its starting to get back to the old nasty posts. Its not just opinions anymore when people start attacking others. People, who cares what cheer411 does with her own time. If she checks the myspaces of her kids and her kids friends thats her business. As far as coaches myspaces, I think they should be private and never add cheerleaders. There needs to be a respect level and I feel as though it could be tampered if they become friends outside of the gym.This also includes things like texting between coaches and cheerleaders. Just my opinion.

After reading all the intense messages it seems all of you are talking apples and oranges. One person is asking why are you reading messages from other gyms and the other are saying yes check within your own gym. I agree check out your own cheerleaders but how do you find time to research what other gyms are talking about. Read the original statement it does not make sense. If there is a problem within their own gym by all means you should be checking it out I know we would. It is interesting how some people dont even see what they are saying. It looks like the reponse was WHY are you looking on myspaces for other gyms cheerleaders and how do you know who they are. I am interested in knowing how you know who is on which team . Well to each his own. some people just take this too personal. I think anonymous is not as fun when people get so offended. why come here and read this is you are going to get offended. Let it go already. Have fun life is short

OC Mom · GURU

Oh I LOVE the people who don't post their names. I truly get the REAL thoughts from those who are sane, insane, crazy, normal and way-the-heck-out-there. I get to see all sides.

I love when someone jumps on someone else about their actions and reactions to what's happening around them. It just shows you how people tend to jump to conclusions. I love MySpace. I see what's happening around my children, my friends and my cheer & police community. I don't have to spy on other gyms. They are my added friends!!! (if I'm not on your friends list, look me up!) I get to add pictures of my great kids, my incredible hubby and beautiful family and BRAG about them!!! MySpace is a wonderful tool!

But spy? How can one call it spying when the person posting it under a public ID is fully aware that JimBob from Transylvania can read it? That is not spying. I look at the pages of Pyramids kids, Motions kids, Divas kids and more!! I LOVE seeing what they are up to and what's changed or not!!! If they post something, they are FULLY AWARE that I can see it. So there is no way that anyone can SPY on anyone. If your page is private, then I can't see it.

I am not as aggresive as some parents as to what and how my child posts things. I know my own kid. But that doesn't give me any right to tell Coach Melissa or Cheer Watcher or Morton what they can and can't put on their own pages. Or that they are innapropriate or not. I may not agree with them, but I am not their PagePolice either. If they post something, then they are fully aware that others can see it. If they want to talk about something, then they are also aware that rival gyms may or may not see it.

So if you're going to hide your identity on this message board, that's great in my book. But relax a little, my dears. Everyone is different. And no one is spying on MySpace. That's nearly impossible.

And I don't have much time on my hands but I still find time to visit with my friends on MySpace. Hey, if you have so little time in your life, how do you find the time to read all the stuff on here????

-- Edited by OC Mom at 17:46, 2007-10-26

Date: Sat Oct 27 2:13 PM, 2007

I love myspace as well, although my daughter may not realize it but I use it as a tool to weed out who she hangs etc, my problem with coaches is they add thier kids to there myspace then they put on very personal or inappropriate( for children anyway) pictures etc. I think it coaches are going to add their kids from the gym they need to remember that the kids need to respect them and I KNOW THEY DON"T ASK TO BE but they are role models.

We love you coaches!!!

Date: Sat Oct 27 7:26 PM, 2007

From a cheerleaders perspective it sucks to see someone in front of you just because their tumbling is better. I dont have the best tumbling on the team but i know , and im not just full of my self, that i have better motions then one of the girls on my team who is in front of me. The only reason she is up in the front is because she has better tumbling therefore she is liked more by the coach. The way i see it, if she has more passes then me for tumbling, THATS GREAT because HELLO she is better at that, if she has a better spot then me in jumps but its because she has to do, lets say a tuck out of a toe touch thats fine because she has it and i dont, but when it comes to the cheer or the dance where tumbling IS NOT required and we are comming from the same stunt group in the previous formation so its not like she is closer to that front spot it bothers me that she gets that spot because of the favoritism going on. I think that formations and things like that should be unbiased because it sucks when you work your butt off for a round off back handspring back tuck and you dont get a tumbling pass but a girl who used to have a mom coach there gets a pass when she only has a round off back handspring and its a LEVEL 4 TEAM!

sorry if that makes no sense at all but i just thought id add my 2 cence :) :)

cheer1 · Veteran Member

After reading all the comments and much thought about writing I decided to share an experience my kid had. A few years ago when my kid was in his 3rd year cheering the team he was on had a sit down and talk. It was for the kids to say what was on their minds a kind of team bonding thing. They all had a turn to have their say. The coaches just sat and listened. Mind you this was a team of 30 teenagers a few boys ,but mostly girls. There of course were the kids who were the coaches favorites and yes they were talented but there were also some more talented kids then just the favorites. For instance why would you not have the kid that has the front to double as the last pass but they put the round off back hand spring full as the last pass? Really in the end it doesn't matter. Some of the real talented kids (some being the coaches favorites) got up and told the kids that were always in the back you should be happy where ever you are placed. My kid got up and said (Mind you he had the double and standing full) why do you say that. You being talented and a favorite are never in the back how can you know how others feel? Maybe you should be in the back and expereince the feeling before you get up and tell others how they should feel. He went on and said everyone should be able to be up front in some part of the routine. The point he made is everyone on the team can shine why not rotate the kids. The coaches should take the time to find out what each kid has to offer. Remember this is a team. You can make all the kids feel they are part of the team by making them all shine. If they are bases and don't tumble then put them in the front of the dance or motions each kid needs to feel they contribute. I was pretty proud of him. But this is life and we all want our kids to do well and I do get what everyone is saying. Hey my advice is choose you battles wisely. Everyone is real passionate about this. Everyone has favorites that just the nature of man and woman.

Fierce Coach · GURU

It's funny that you don't want to be called a CRAZY mom, yet you're sitting there checking up on other coaches and girls and making sure that they are good role models. And yes you can sit here and post anonomously.... get an id already! Or maybe you need to hide it that much more, right?

If you don't like where you're at, then leave.
And if you leave and still feel the need to run your mouth, then you truely are a crazy cheer mom.

End of story.

Date: Sun Oct 28 6:10 PM, 2007

WOW! Very well said. MY opinion is this: [spoiler]IF you are NOT happy with the gym you are currently at, then by all means do as you choose, and try some where else. If you end up somewhere else, (as you have already stated) and are happy (again, as you have made very clear) then please leave it at that! There is no need to post nasty, harsh things on the message boards as you have been doing. Your happy... GREAT! Your child/children are happy, and progressing etc...GREAT! Then leave well enough alone.....

Date: Sun Oct 28 10:16 PM, 2007

Fierce Coach,
You appear to be assuming that one person is the anonomous poster on this topic. There are a lot of people expressing their opinions here. That is the beauty of free speech. I have not posted before but from what I have read, I think you are missing some of the points here and are not being open minded about what is being said. You are a perfect example of what one poster said about a coach not listening or being open to communication. Your attitude of, "if you don't like it where you are at, then leave" and the, "crazy cheer mom" comment would concern me as a parent of your gym who pays a lot of money for this sport. Coaches are not perfect just because we pay them to instruct our children. I guess you will see once your child grows up and becomes invovled in activities. It is so easy to sit back and judge others when you have not walked in their shoes. From what I can see, unless you are a gym that has a waiting list of clients knocking down your door, you should appreciate your customers and be open to hearing what they have to say...you might learn something and even better for the owners, you might make more money by not letting good customers walk out the door.

Fierce Coach · GURU

This is obviosuly a personal post.... If you don't think I don't know who you are then you have me all wrong. I'm sorry you are so hurt. But I hope you are happy where you are because things are just perfect HERE!!!

Just like the post said below me....

"WOW! Very well said. MY opinion is this: [spoiler]IF you are NOT happy with the gym you are currently at, then by all means do as you choose, and try some where else. If you end up somewhere else, (as you have already stated) and are happy (again, as you have made very clear) then please leave it at that! There is no need to post nasty, harsh things on the message boards as you have been doing. Your happy... GREAT! Your child/children are happy, and progressing etc...GREAT! Then leave well enough alone....."

You should definitely take this advice.

Have a great drive!!!

Danny and/or Morton: I REQUEST THIS TOPIC TO BE CLOSED.