Playing favorites

Date: Tue Oct 23 1:06 PM, 2007

RE: Playing favorites

Date: Tue Oct 23 1:07 PM, 2007

why would you call another parent crazy if thatis how you handle conflict wth your gym no wonder your child may be in the back think about it!

Date: Tue Oct 23 1:27 PM, 2007

And this is why owners close practices........there is nothing worse than a complaining parent......and no one wants to hear it. I bet your teacher at your child's school has a favorite go complain about that one!

Date: Tue Oct 23 1:57 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

And this is why owners close practices........there is nothing worse than a complaining parent......and no one wants to hear it. I bet your teacher at your child's school has a favorite go complain about that one!

Spoken like a coach or owner who does not have kids of their own. I am a teacher and admittedly, it is human nature to enjoy teaching certain kids more than others. However, do I treat them differently? Do I exclude, ignore, or put them down because they are not as smart as others (or because they are injured and can't perform a skill 100%)? Of course not. All kids (especially when you are paying for a service) deserve to be made feel like they contribute positively to the team, even if they are in the back (not made feel like that is where they deserve to be). If they are not contributing positively, pull them aside and discuss it with them or their parents. Don't play games with them or talk behind their back....find out what is going on and maybe you can turn their attitude around. At our gym, I would personally like to see a more positive approach to motivating the kids.

Date: Tue Oct 23 3:22 PM, 2007

I do have children and you just openly admitted you have favorites. It will be everywhere you go, at school, in jobs, with friends, co-workers...the list could go on.......my point was stop complaining.......and because I am not a complaining mother my children adapt to everything quite well! Jeez some of the parents are just so annoying on this board....STOP COMPLAINING and if you dont like you child in back.....look up tennis!!

cheerwatcher · GURU

Angie wrote:

From a coaches stand point, and something a very wise coach once told me... "someone always has to be in the back."

I was going to write a big long explaination, however when I read this quote I couldn't say anything any better. I agree 120% in regards to this quote! smile

Cheerleading is not an individual sport. It takes everybody on the team to pull off a great routine. If your unhappy and feel your child is being treated differently, then talk to the coaches and owners. Thats what I would do!

Date: Tue Oct 23 11:52 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

why would you call another parent crazy if thatis how you handle conflict wth your gym no wonder your child may be in the back think about it!

Okay and your even crazier, read the thread this was just some lighthearted joking!!! O MY the freaks don't just come out at night!!!

Date: Tue Oct 23 11:59 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

And this is why owners close practices........there is nothing worse than a complaining parent......and no one wants to hear it. I bet your teacher at your child's school has a favorite go complain about that one!

Close practice, close your gym, and ask me if we nutty parents care. When you coaches and gym owners realize we parents are sick of the BS and after all the darn money we pay for our kids to do this lovely sport called ALL STAR CHEER, we will drive to the next stop even if it's and hour away. Do your thing chicken wings, we squirrels can get a nuts from somewhere else?

CharlotteASMom · Member

You are right that parents should trust their coaches but coaches need to understand that we have a stake in this as well. Not only because of the enormous amounts of money we are paying the gym each month but because it is in our care to raise this child to his/her fullest potential. If we see something that we are concerned about then leave the door open for us to talk with you during a time that is not disruptive. Coaches shouldn't have the right to shut parents out as parents should not constantly berate coaches for their decisons. JMO

-- Edited by CharlotteASMom at 08:15, 2007-10-24

Date: Wed Oct 24 7:20 AM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And this is why owners close practices........there is nothing worse than a complaining parent......and no one wants to hear it. I bet your teacher at your child's school has a favorite go complain about that one!

Close practice, close your gym, and ask me if we nutty parents care. When you coaches and gym owners realize we parents are sick of the BS and after all the darn money we pay for our kids to do this lovely sport called ALL STAR CHEER, we will drive to the next stop even if it's and hour away. Do your thing chicken wings, we squirrels can get a nuts from somewhere else?

WARNING IF YOU SEE OR HERE OF THIS ONE COMING YOUR WAY
THROW UP THE RIGHT TO REFUSE BUSINESS OR BETTER YET TELL THEM YOUR SQUADS ARE FULL AND THERE IS NO ROOM IN THE BACK biggrin

Date: Wed Oct 24 8:16 AM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And this is why owners close practices........there is nothing worse than a complaining parent......and no one wants to hear it. I bet your teacher at your child's school has a favorite go complain about that one!

Close practice, close your gym, and ask me if we nutty parents care. When you coaches and gym owners realize we parents are sick of the BS and after all the darn money we pay for our kids to do this lovely sport called ALL STAR CHEER, we will drive to the next stop even if it's and hour away. Do your thing chicken wings, we squirrels can get a nuts from somewhere else?

WARNING IF YOU SEE OR HERE OF THIS ONE COMING YOUR WAY
THROW UP THE RIGHT TO REFUSE BUSINESS OR BETTER YET TELL THEM YOUR SQUADS ARE FULL AND THERE IS NO ROOM IN THE BACK

More than half the gyms out there are so desperate for kids they have no room to refuse anyone and why turn this one away for this post it sounds like all the crazies are already in the gym, including you: smile:

Date: Wed Oct 24 8:22 AM, 2007

Good lord, some of these responses...we talked about this last night at practice. Basically, yes, we have favorites, but it doesn't matter who's the favorite or why: If someone is good at something, they go in front. Even if we don't like them. Even if we do like them. We want the best routine.

Also, I'd say it depends on where they are on the floor; sometimes your best girls can't always make it to the front, and they just have to be put wherever, because there isn't always time to get them there.

Date: Wed Oct 24 8:40 AM, 2007

Okay this thread is going nowhere!

The coaches on here are justifying, the parents are pleading their case (obviously valid) since so many parents have the same complaint.

My famous solution, bounce parents, give your money to someone else, and if you can't do that do not support your gym, take your privates to an outside source (find a near gymnastics place) Trust me the gym I'm at now if the coaches had favorites you would never know it, they are smart enough to remember they are running a business and controversy like this can and has taken gyms to their knees.

IT IS POSSIBLE TO FIND HAPPINESS, EVEN AN HOUR AWAY!!
POWER TO THE PARENTS!!!

Fierce Coach · GURU

Point blank...

You're going to put your GREAT flyer in the center, you're going to put you're most solid double at the end of the tumbling section, and you're going to put your best jumper in the front. If you get put in the back of a jump section and you're usually in the front, don't get mad, WORK HARDER ON YOUR JUMPS!!!

We had a parent at the beginning of this season who left our program due to a situation like this. I think when parents leave or get angry for such a stupid, petty reason, you're only being unfair and selfish to your child and yourself.

You know... playing favorites is a part of putting together a routine. I say... "my favorite jumper is so and so...", and then I put that person in the front. I tell myself, "my favorite tumbler is so and so...", and then I put that person last. If you didn't play favorites while putting together a routine.... would we be good coaches? Would we really be doing our job well? NOPE. There's a huge strategic plan that goes into putting groups together, to putting a routine together. You put a weak base with a strong one, to push the weaker one to become better. And then sometimes you just put the bad jumper in the back because you don't want to see bad scoresheets. It's all a game of planning to perfection.

Diva Coach Melissa · Senior Member

Yeah, I have to agree with Megan. I can't imagine taking a kid that I like personality-wise that has unsharp motions, low jumps, etc, and putting her in a "prime" spot in the routine. That would be some pretty awful coaching, as far as I'm concerned.

I think as coaches we've ALL had the parent that is sure their child is not in the front because of "favoritism", but can't see past the facts. Our kids earn their positions based on their skill level and ability to perform. A parent may complain that their child is not flying everywhere in the routine, but can't seem to see that the rest of the flyers on the team are hitting 6 positions in the air while she can only hit a shaky lib. They may complain when their child is moved back a row or two in a dance, but can't seem to see how uncrisp their motions are. Unfortunately, it's just life. 99% of the time, there will always be SOMEONE better, thinner, richer, prettier, smarter, more WHATEVER than you, somewhere out there in the world. A true fighter will take that fact and use it as motivation to improve. I'm not saying coaches don't have favorites. I know I have mine, and those are the ones that show up on time each day and work hard without giving me an attitude. And based on that work ethic, whaddya know, those are often the kids who end up improving skills and moving to the front eventually!

A coaches job is to put the best kids in each area of the routine where it will best enhance the appearance of the routine. It would be silly to do it any other way - we want to win, too!

FIGHT for those spots if you want them!! :)

Date: Wed Oct 24 11:00 PM, 2007

Wow I think the topic should be CRAZZY MOMS. It's a spot on an team and I know we all pay the money to be on the team but I don't think at any gym that their is a clause that we put on the dotted line that a parent pays for SPOTS. Back to basics moms their is no I in Team. So just relaxxx and breath aww

Date: Wed Oct 24 11:32 PM, 2007

We get told at our gym that they want open communication. If we ask a question or have concerns, we get called "crazy cheer moms" or labled "complaining parents." Isn't that hypocritical? If my daugther is upset about the way she is being treated (and not because she is in the back or not in the air, other reasons) and coach is unapproachable or won't listen. Should she just sit back be quiet and miserable, have mom talk to coach/owner and then they treat her worse? Or does she quit the sport she loves? Would love to hear honest answers from coaches or owners? What would you do if you were the mom?

Date: Thu Oct 25 4:12 AM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

We get told at our gym that they want open communication. If we ask a question or have concerns, we get called "crazy cheer moms" or labled "complaining parents." Isn't that hypocritical? If my daugther is upset about the way she is being treated (and not because she is in the back or not in the air, other reasons) and coach is unapproachable or won't listen. Should she just sit back be quiet and miserable, have mom talk to coach/owner and then they treat her worse? Or does she quit the sport she loves? Would love to hear honest answers from coaches or owners? What would you do if you were the mom?

I'd like to hear the answer for that one too...the old "open communication ploy". My problems with commuinication are not so bad that I would leave the gym...I always use the measure...if my daughter is happy, then I need to let it go (assuming she is safe, blah blah). She's happy. I'm not because probably a couple or three times a season, something comes up that is IMPORTANT to me, and I get shut out or shut down...this after I have very carefully made sure I am not approaching them when they are busy or stressed and having made sure the moon is in line with Venus. smile

I wish I could let it go, but I keep thinking...I pay my bills on time, get the kid to practices and comps as directed, rah rah the gym, volunteer and am 45 years old and just want the respect of someone willing to listen to me for 2 minutes and not pop off. (OK, I'm whining now. But I feel better. aww

)

That said, I must say our gym does not play "favorites" because if they did, my daughter would be crouching in the back---behind the gym around the dumpster area, but she gets some pretty good spots. And the pretty good spots are sprinkled around because we have a variety of girls who shine in different areas! It's one of the reasons we are a team! If I ever have a question of why someone is in a spot. my daughter usually can explain...the kids know why.

CharlotteASMom · Member

Anonymous wrote:

We get told at our gym that they want open communication. If we ask a question or have concerns, we get called "crazy cheer moms" or labled "complaining parents." Isn't that hypocritical? If my daugther is upset about the way she is being treated (and not because she is in the back or not in the air, other reasons) and coach is unapproachable or won't listen. Should she just sit back be quiet and miserable, have mom talk to coach/owner and then they treat her worse? Or does she quit the sport she loves? Would love to hear honest answers from coaches or owners? What would you do if you were the mom?

I'm a Mom not a coach or gym owner but I had to give kudos to you first few sentences. Since when does speaking up make you a crazy Mom? I don't think anyone here has a problem with a "favorite" that has amazing talent being put in front. We Moms DO see that and the majority of us can handle the truth. This began as coaches givng favoritism to cheerleaders that HAVE NOT earned the spot. That's when we would like to be able to approach coaches without being labeled "crazy" or threatened to have practices closed.

Cheer411 · Senior Member

Favortism can be viewed by many in various forms. It doesn't have to be just on the practice mat and placement on the floor.

There are times when favortism is displayed by other actions demonstrated by the gym staff:

1. Cheerleaders are asked to "hang out" with the "cool" coach outside practice hours.
2. Someone gets their uniform before everyone else.
3. Certain girls get a ride from a coach to the attending competition.
4. Free tuition for a select few.
5. A particular team has more parties then the next team in the gym.
6. The squad is asked to do 10 push-ups and someone gets away with not doing any.
7. Goody bags handed out a the competitions. One squad gets more items in their bag than the next team
8. Chat behind the scenes on MySpace between the "favored" cheerleaders and the coaches. (and sometimes I am shocked what I read. There are times the coaches take about the talent of another cheerleader to the next cheerleader. Shame, Shame, Shame.)

The staff/coaches need to be cautious to what is being displayed in and out of their gym. Often times, it's not what is going on during practice, it's what is going on after practice.