How do we stop it?

Danny · Senior Member

How do we stop it?

Date: Mon Oct 22 12:25 PM, 2007

Danny wrote:

There was a thread about this a while back but I felt it needed to be brought up again since the problem has only gotten worse.

How do we get people to realize just how horrible it is to use the word "retarded" as a negative adjective? "I'm so retarded" "That was retarded". It amazes me how many people (even adults) say this.

It's no better or worse than saying "That was so Mexican of me" with a negative conitation. We need to start calling our friends and family on it when they do this.

Is anyone else bugged by this?

DANNY YOU ARE SO RIGHT "RETARDED" IS A RACIST/PREJUDICE (Youget what im saying even though ithas nothing to do w race) REMARK IN MY BOOK
EVERY ONE IS ALLOWED THEIR OWN OPINION WITH OUT BEING CALLED A NAME.

people say sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me
that is true until the names are said about you

it is ok to voice your opinion but it is not ok to say those type of things. you can call some one a racist remark with out consequences.....
so those type of words should not be used either

Date: Mon Oct 22 12:27 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

Danny wrote:

There was a thread about this a while back but I felt it needed to be brought up again since the problem has only gotten worse.

How do we get people to realize just how horrible it is to use the word "retarded" as a negative adjective? "I'm so retarded" "That was retarded". It amazes me how many people (even adults) say this.

It's no better or worse than saying "That was so Mexican of me" with a negative conitation. We need to start calling our friends and family on it when they do this.

Is anyone else bugged by this?

DANNY YOU ARE SO RIGHT "RETARDED" IS A RACIST/PREJUDICE (Youget what im saying even though ithas nothing to do w race) REMARK IN MY BOOK
EVERY ONE IS ALLOWED THEIR OWN OPINION WITH OUT BEING CALLED A NAME.

people say sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me
that is true until the names are said about you

it is ok to voice your opinion but it is not ok to say those type of things. you can call some one a racist remark with out consequences.....
so those type of words should not be used either

meant to say you cant call someone a racist name and their be no consequences and rightfully so
so you shouldnt be allowed to say those things either

Pixie · Senior Member

I feel the same way about the word "gay".
When someone says "that's soo gay!" it takes everything I have to not slap them across the face it makes me so livid.

However, I don't feel as strongly about "retarded". Maybe because the definition of the word "retard" (to slow or delay the progress of something) makes it more acceptable to me. But I do know how offensive it is to many people and agree that it shouldn't be used as an insult because of that.

Date: Mon Oct 22 1:25 PM, 2007

I am not a hardened person, but you must stop letting this little things bug you. SLANG is huge, I don't even think people talk regular english anymore.!! Everythig has a nickname, or some "WTF" form, damn text messaging! (It took me forever to figure out my kid was saying What the F***). Find a nice way to tell the person you don't like it, but this is freedom of speach so if they don't stop what are you going to do? On the other hand you also may become the most critiqued person in the world so if you start calling people on thier stuff make sure you watch your every word and movement cuz thier defenitly going to be waiting to call you on something back. Human's it's just the nature of the beast

Date: Mon Oct 22 1:32 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

I am not a hardened person, but you must stop letting this little things bug you. SLANG is huge, I don't even think people talk regular english anymore.!! Everythig has a nickname, or some "WTF" form, damn text messaging! (It took me forever to figure out my kid was saying What the F***). Find a nice way to tell the person you don't like it, but this is freedom of speach so if they don't stop what are you going to do? On the other hand you also may become the most critiqued person in the world so if you start calling people on thier stuff make sure you watch your every word and movement cuz thier defenitly going to be waiting to call you on something back. Human's it's just the nature of the beast

You are right. You proved that quit well! "people dont talk regular english". Although, this had more to do with respecting others. Another one Danny that is in that same category would the quote "thats so gay!" using the term to mean dumb/lame. There are so many of these terms that is commonly used in todays society. I bet that people barely correct anyone for saying thats "gay", over saying thats "retarded". The list can go ON!

Date: Mon Oct 22 1:44 PM, 2007

My brother is handicaped. When we were younger I remember many a day that he would come home from school crying because someone called him a retard, or some other hurtful word. Words do hurt and leave scars that last a life time. This word is demoralizing, especially to someone who can't defend themselves or does not understand. I know times have changed and some of the language that I hear not only kids, but adults use still amazes me. This is one slang word that should not be acceptable.

Date: Mon Oct 22 1:48 PM, 2007

I am sorry to say my kids are guilty of doing this, and just the other day my co-worker said something she had to do was retarded. It does NOT have the same meaning as it did when we were growing up. Most people do not call someone who is mentally disabled "retarded", the word retarded has come to mean something new... we just haven't adjusted to it yet. Mentally disabled and retarded are two entirely different phrases, which is a good thing. Gay has come to have two meanings as well; I was watching a comedy show last week and the main female character (an adult) used it just like my kids do; I don't think anyone gay takes offense to it anymore because it is nothing personal.

Date: Mon Oct 22 1:58 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am not a hardened person, but you must stop letting this little things bug you. SLANG is huge, I don't even think people talk regular english anymore.!! Everythig has a nickname, or some "WTF" form, damn text messaging! (It took me forever to figure out my kid was saying What the F***). Find a nice way to tell the person you don't like it, but this is freedom of speach so if they don't stop what are you going to do? On the other hand you also may become the most critiqued person in the world so if you start calling people on thier stuff make sure you watch your every word and movement cuz thier defenitly going to be waiting to call you on something back. Human's it's just the nature of the beast

You are right. You proved that quit well! "people dont talk regular english". Although, this had more to do with respecting others. Another one Danny that is in that same category would the quote "thats so gay!" using the term to mean dumb/lame. There are so many of these terms that is commonly used in todays society. I bet that people barely correct anyone for saying thats "gay", over saying thats "retarded". The list can go ON!

I'm sorry, for my older crowd!!! " I meant "regular english" in the terms that we have some many version's of our english langauge because of the kids, and if you ask them they are speaking english but it sure does not sound like it. I guess the word I was looking for was educated or proper english. Sorry

LisaDee · Veteran Member

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am not a hardened person, but you must stop letting this little things bug you. SLANG is huge, I don't even think people talk regular english anymore.!! Everythig has a nickname, or some "WTF" form, damn text messaging! (It took me forever to figure out my kid was saying What the F***). Find a nice way to tell the person you don't like it, but this is freedom of speach so if they don't stop what are you going to do? On the other hand you also may become the most critiqued person in the world so if you start calling people on thier stuff make sure you watch your every word and movement cuz thier defenitly going to be waiting to call you on something back. Human's it's just the nature of the beast

You are right. You proved that quit well! "people dont talk regular english". Although, this had more to do with respecting others. Another one Danny that is in that same category would the quote "thats so gay!" using the term to mean dumb/lame. There are so many of these terms that is commonly used in todays society. I bet that people barely correct anyone for saying thats "gay", over saying thats "retarded". The list can go ON!

I think as adults in so many of these young adults/childrens liife, it is our responsiblitity to call kids out on remarks like "retarded" or "that's so gay". If you do not allow it in your presence over time they will pick up on it. I am a high school counselor who runs a conflict mediation center and I tell kids probably 30 times a day to not use "that's so gay" in my classroom. I then go into explanation as to why. It gets old, but they know not to use those terms in my classroom. If we all put a stop to it at practice, home, school etc. , maybe we would see a difference. Ok- I'll step down from my soapbox now.

lvnlife · Member

Unfortunately these sayings have probably become habits and it's hard to break a habit. I guess we just have to remind our kids each time they say it that it could hurt someones feelings. I know my kids don't realize just how often they say: "like", "oh my god", "thats so gay" , etc etc. Like any habit it needs to be pointed out to them and hopefully once they realize just how often they repeat it they'll think before they speak. Well until the next new slang word comes around and repeat the cycle!!!!!

Date: Mon Oct 22 6:55 PM, 2007

"that's so gay" and "you are retarded" comes from kids most of the time and kids dont think of it the way some people do. I agree that it should change but it wont. people who say these words dont mean to be mean, it is implanted in their vocab. My straight friend yells at me when I say, "that's gay" and my gay friends actually dont mind. Sometimes I hear them say, "thats gay". I do not call children or adults with disabilities "retarded" that is wrong.

Date: Mon Oct 22 7:16 PM, 2007

So what a lot of you are saying is......it's just too hard to fix so deal with it. It's part of this generation's slang etc.

All I know is if I heard my Son or Daughter say anything like that they'd soon wonder why the side of their head was stinging.

Date: Mon Oct 22 10:29 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

So what a lot of you are saying is......it's just too hard to fix so deal with it. It's part of this generation's slang etc.

All I know is if I heard my Son or Daughter say anything like that they'd soon wonder why the side of their head was stinging.

lmao same here

Date: Mon Oct 22 10:34 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

So what a lot of you are saying is......it's just too hard to fix so deal with it. It's part of this generation's slang etc.

All I know is if I heard my Son or Daughter say anything like that they'd soon wonder why the side of their head was stinging.

Truth be told they probally say these things just not in your presence.

Sorry mommy or daddy just a little reality check. Just like most kids say bad words but they know better than to do it in front of your parents. I'm afraid it is not until we grow up and leave the crazy stage of adolecence that we become sensitve to other's feelings because we are forced to deal with them in our work setting etc, (where saying things like this could lead to a lawsuit or something.) But as kids I really do feel they don't have any idea that the things they say could hurt people and even when they do because of thier stage in life they are generally so self absorbed they don't care. So my answer is "Yes" there are some things we are going to have to get used to, because sadly unless we can skip the teen years this will not go away.

Date: Tue Oct 23 12:27 AM, 2007

Parents, you're going to have to get used to it because it doesn't mean what you think it means. Can't put it any clearer than that! They are part of the new vocabulary and in no way are meant to offend anyone who is gay or anyone who is mentally challenged. The words have new meaning and you'll have to get used to it. It's now your problem, not theirs.

Jodi · Senior Member

You knew sooner or later, Danny, I would read this!

I have the honor of coaching the Special Needs team at Pyramids. I have a cousin who is severely Autistic (25 years old functioning at 11 months) and I taught Special Ed/Early Childhood for 4 years. I think the word retarded is not ok to use to describe something or someone even if it is just to be used to say stupid. Do I yell at people when they use it? No. I do ask them not to use the word when I am there, this goes from friends to kids in the gym.

As for the parents who are saying that they are ok with their kids using the word...I assume then that you would be ok if someone referred to you child that way, or your friends. Perhaps that is a bit much but those are my thoughts.

Acedad...I am waiting to hear your thoughts!

-- Edited by Jodi at 08:09, 2007-10-23

Date: Tue Oct 23 1:18 AM, 2007

I'm surprised that for some the word retarded is still taken to mean mentally challenged, I thought we were way over that. Someone will say something or someone is retarded, and it always means something is stupid or someone's actions are stupid. It's just a word that means stupid. Nobody uses the word retarded to describe someone who is mentally disabled/challenged, and you won't find someone who thinks something is stupid saying "oh, that's so mentally challenged". See the difference?

ACEDAD · GURU

Anonymous wrote:

I'm surprised that for some the word retarded is still taken to mean mentally challenged, I thought we were way over that. Someone will say something or someone is retarded, and it always means something is stupid or someone's actions are stupid. It's just a word that means stupid. Nobody uses the word retarded to describe someone who is mentally disabled/challenged, and you won't find someone who thinks something is stupid saying "oh, that's so mentally challenged". See the difference?

The quote above reminds me of another: 'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone,' it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.'

Unfortunately, we can't all be Humpty Dumpty and make words mean something different just because we want.

Retarded has a specific meaning. When used incorrectly as slang, it is a very hurtful, destructive word and I won't tolerate it's use that way.

I can't change the world, but I can try to change my little part of it.

Date: Tue Oct 23 7:34 AM, 2007

My guess is years from now we won't be having this discussion as it will be a part of our slang that will no longer be offensive to anyone. I'm sorry but there are too many other issues and words I will focus my attention to when it comes to disciplining my teenagers.