Ok, Give Me Advice, One and All

OC Mom · GURU

Ok, Give Me Advice, One and All

Pixie · Senior Member

I feel your pain, I hate that conflicted feeling!

I think the best way to stave off any conflict is to remain supportive of all four teams - both HS teams, her new all star team as well as OC. Cheer on OC whenever any of their teams hit the floor. But until comp season starts have Em (if she hasn't already) write a personal letter to OC owner as well as staff explaining that she loved the program, and her reasons for leaving; include that there are no hard feelings - Once an OC all star, always an OC all star. (Same as Cheergyms!)

Any help? Probably not, just my two cents...
Good Luck!!

Cheer Parent · Senior Member

Your daughter needs to go with what she feels right and wants to do and shame on anyone who wants or trys to sway her in anyway. She needs to be herself and enjoy what she has while she still can. Before you know it she will be told old and then have regrets. Dont let her change who she is and dont let her have regrets. If they are decent coachs then they will understand its not about them its about your daughter. Now this is babbling on!!! Sorry we go through the same stuff and I wont have any of it I tell my daughter to do what she wants to do and what her heart tells her to do with no regrets. I hope this helps!!!

CheerTaxi · Veteran Member

I completely feel your pain OC Mom, we had to make the painful decision to leave the gym we have been at for the last three years and go to another gym although not for the same reason. Ours was mostly cost driven and the fact that they were heading in a different direction this year that didn't really work for our situation due to my daughter making Varsity also this year. She is a sophmore next year and she and her friend are the first ones to make Varsity as sophmores ever at our school. The gym we have been at is really wanting girls to double up teams on allstars to be more competitive next year and two allstar teams and a HS varsity team is just too much financially and time wise for us. So we went to another gym that is a little bit farther away but significantly less in cost (I can do allstars and HS for the same as just one allstar team at our other gym). And my daughter made a high level team that she will work hard on and the gym owner is being wonderful about working around our HS schedule!

I have been very conflicted about this as I love all of the people at our other gym and I know I will cheer their teams on as if we were still there at any comps we are at together, but you have to do what is right for you, your daughter, and your family and hope that they understand and won't take it personally. That is what I am hoping for and in time we will see. Good luck to Em and her teams this year! Keep us posted on your recovery also!

OC Mom · GURU

Have I told you all that I love you????????

So far, things have been ok. I will keep you posted.

Cali Cheers · Member

Hey OC Mom my daughter is going to Tesoro next year and they told us at the meeting last night that the kids cannot do both allstars and high school. That certainly made for an easy decision for my daughter. She would never give up allstars.

Danny · Senior Member

Kris - Without a doubt the main thing to remember is to maintain open and honest communication. It is VERY hard for a gym staff to lose kids to other programs or even to High School. Especially when you've trained those kids from forward roll to full. If you leave a gym with honesty the staff and gym owners will be sad. If you leave with a closed mouth or lies there will be ANGER.

I think cheer parents and their child sometimes underestimate a coach's emotional investment in these kids. 9 times out of 10 the reason for leaving is totally valid so why not just communicate that? If after that the gym owner or coach reacts with anything other than simple sadness...well then you're leaving is more justified than ever.

oldcheermom · Senior Member

My concern would be when competition season arrives, especially when both high school and all star have competitions at the same time in different locations. I've witnessed girls totally stressed because both coaches want them at their practice and at their competion, which is totally understandable, but it sure puts a lot of pressure on the girl. Often, the coaches work out the scheduling conflicts, but sometimes they won't.

Hopefully these coaches will be understanding with everything involved, and not put Em in the middle of anything.

Cheer Parent · Senior Member

Your child first what ever route you take second! But Danny is right honesty is the best policy that way your integrity is still intact.

OC Mom · GURU

Thanks sooooo much. I still have an open relationship with everyone. You know me, I don't like to NOT get along with anyone for ANY reason. I've always done what Em wants to do first and kept an open dialogue. At least I am PRAYING to keep things that way. I love BOTH coaches and programs. I guess I just worry is all.

Cali Cheers, where does your daughter cheer? Tesoro hasn't ever let the kids do both and I am totally bummed for them. We have MANY MANY friends who go to Tesoro and had many leave OC last year for Tesoro. I do hope they get a coach really soon. I hear Aliso is in the same boat as well.

My daughters closest friends go to Tesoro, and last year we arranged a way to travel there for a game for the Freshman since they aren't allowed to travel because we have so many mutual friends.

Practice hasn't started for Mission yet and last year we had kids from Crush, Quakes, Magic and OC and no one had conflicts. I take that back, ONE girl had ONE but it worked out. I am praying that happens again.

Cali Cheers · Member

OC Mom, my daughter cheers at California Allstars.

Bladezmom · Senior Member

Cali Cheers wrote:

Hey OC Mom my daughter is going to Tesoro next year and they told us at the meeting last night that the kids cannot do both allstars and high school. That certainly made for an easy decision for my daughter. She would never give up allstars.

My daughter is cheering for HS this year too for the 1st time as well as doing All-Stars. The HS is having a competition squad and plan on going to 8-9 competitions, so obviously that is not an option for us. However, this new advisor is making attendance mandatory for all the girls who do NOT cheer on this optional competition squad! My thought is she knows several of these girls cheer All-stars and are very good, so if she makes attendance mandatory, that they will opt to just cheer on the competition squad because they have to be there anyways. I have soooo many issues with this mandatory attendance requirement that I dont even know where to start, but I don't want to make waves as I don't want HS to interfere with All-stars (not that there would be a choice in the end - HS would lose). ggrrrrrrr - ok - I'm done venting.
furious

-- Edited by Bladezmom at 11:36, 2007-05-04

-- Edited by Bladezmom at 11:38, 2007-05-04

AbbyByTheBay · Senior Member

I must be missing something here Bladezmom... why would they make attendance required for those who are NOT on the competition squad? Attendance is mandatory to watch the others cheer? Since that would make no sense, I'm sure I'm just confused.

As a sidenote I wanted to mention I really enjoyed watching Bladez last season. Your teams did a great job; I know if we had to choose between HS and Bladez all stars the choice would be easy!

AirborneOwner · GURU

BladezMom - I would think that if you would let the school administration know of this rule they would find it interesting also. It never hurts to bring it to their attention. I am curious to hear how it goes. Having them go to that practice is like having JV watch Varsity just because. Seems strange to me.

Cheer411 · Senior Member

This is not as uncommon as one would think. This is happening in the area of were we live, as well.

It's as if the HS advisor is punishing those that do not want to compete. The advisor would throw out the phase: "All practices are mandatory! It was your choice not to participate on the high school competitive team." The worst thing about it, those that don't want to participate on the HS competitive team become outcasted and end up leaving the HS cheer experience, all together.

There is so much to HS cheer than a competitive team. HS advisors have to start thinking about the bigger picture.

AirborneOwner · GURU

I agree Cheer 411, I coached High School Cheer for about 5 years before allstars and part of the reason why I left is that I could tell that I was interested more in competitive cheer then all the bells and whistles included in High School Cheer. I think that some of these coaches are losing the goal that showing school spirit does not only include their team shining but making all of the teams they support shine.

OC Mom · GURU

I'm sorry Cali Cheers... yea, Tesoro has had this rule for quite some time now and it's made kids choose one or the other. In your case.... I agree with your decision completely!!!! But I have to say, it's worked PERFECTLY for us at Mission. Why they won't let them is beyond me!!!

Cheer411 · Senior Member

Oh, and I need to mention that we have HS advisors that never want to compete throughout the season. And that's okay to take this stand. However, the restrictions of HS cheer is crazy.

First of all, the coaches don't work on campus, so the cheerleaders need to wait around until 5:00 to just start a semi-structured practice. These practices will go until 7:00 each night.

There is no such thing as an "excused" absence, so the girls are required to be at every practice and every cheerleading event (football, basketball (boys and girls), some soccer, some baseball, rallies, and school fundraising events (crab feeds, car washes, hosting youth league cheer clinics)).

If the cheerleaders want to participate in an outside activity, another sport (competitive cheer, gymnastics, play other school sport), attend other school activities, or participate in leadership; this is all considered an "unexcused" absence.

Too many "unexcused" absences and you are kicked off the school team.

Personally, I believe these restrictions need to be loosened to some degree. If the squad is not going to compete the restictions need to be lifted to some degree. Coaches need to be ready for practice right after school and not have the cheerleaders waiting around with idol time for their instructor to get to the campus. Practices should be limited to just a couple days a week. And allow the cheerleaders to participate in other functions with out being punished and threatened with removal from the squad.

OC Mom · GURU

Cheer 411 I agree with you WHOLE-HEARTEDLY.....This is how Mission does it.... and it works for outside sports as well...

Period 7 is Pep Squad. ALWAYS. Your schedule is that way when you get it in the beginning of the year. So why schools would practice later is beyond me. Just make your PE your last class.

They practice 3 times per week. In the beginning, the game squads practice 2X and Competition 1X. Later in the season, Competition 2X and Game 1X.

1 other day of the week is either to make signs for the games, get togethers, read the assigned book (last year it was THE 7 SOMETHIN SOMETHIN FOR TEENS) and the last day is preperation for games (get hair done, find your stuff that you KNOW your brought with you, stretch, etc...)or if there's no game, you go home at 2 instead of 3. So, all 5 days you have something to do in period 7 with your team/squad.

NOW, competition team practices at OC. Sooo, the practice goes from 3 to 5:30. You have to get a ride and your 7th period begins at 2, so you check in with the cheer advisor and then you are released to your "ride" to practice. You have about 45 minutes to get to the gym which is 15 min MAX away. So you could sneak in a snack if you wanted to. But most don't.

THEN.... if you are on an all star team.... the cheer advisor will generally look into everyones all star competition schedule and TRY to make it that they compete at competitions that have BOTH all star and hs. This makes it very easy. There are MORE THAN ENOUGH competitions to choose from that there SHOULDN'T be any conflicts. Just do the homework. It's not all THAT hard.....

Plus, your all star coach should know you are on your high school team as well. Don't you think it would be to your gyms advantage to work together with them??? This could mean business for you.

And guess who benefits..... yep, the kids.......

Practices and games are MANDATORY. But no one is required to attend at competition if you're not on the competition squad. You had to make varsity to make the competition squad. It's not seperate. Freshman and JV attend all CIF games and Homecoming. The parents are told to NOT make plans for Thanksgiving that would take the kids away from the day after game, should we go to CIF. ( we always have, so they pretty much know it's coming)

Varsity is told that any fundraiser that is for them is mandatory and everyone can help. We never have any problems with that. Only a few things are mandatory attendance. But you are told of these in April. And since we have MANY all star kids, this isn't a problem since you are used to these things in all stars. Your life is around cheer anyway..... biggrin

I mean, is there ANYTHING ELSE anyway???? hehehehehe

Bladezmom · Senior Member

Again - I think she's making attendance mandatory so that the All-Star kids will decide to particiapte on the HS comp squad. I mean - our girls are competitive cheerleaders and I don't think my daughter could really sit through a comp and not participate, however she really does not want to compete for the HS.

I'll eventually go to the HS admins, but I'm trying not to cause trouble for this new advisor...I want her to co-operate with our All-Star schedule and if I come out with my guns blearing... well you get it!

I think the amount of time that is required for HS cheer is ridiculous, but we're commited at this point and there is no turning back now!

Thanks for the compliments on our Bladez squads last season. We're really looking foward to the upcoming year!!!! I hope I can actually meet some of you in the fall.

-- Edited by Bladezmom at 14:28, 2007-05-07