I was driving in my car the other day and started to think about all the teams who attend the comeptitions around the US. I started to realize how a lot of gyms don't charish the whole "having fun" factor. I will be guilty of this too and need to remember that winning is only the smallest part of the whole sport. It actually upsets me because I've heard coaches say to other coach, "hell yeah we're good" and individuals on a team say, "yeah we probably beat you" from well respected gyms. I know this happens all over and I think that its sad that its become a winning or losing sport. I also realized when the mini squads go to perform everyone stops to cheer and say, "oh they're so cute" but when the older teams come on the only people cheering for them are their own gyms or gyms that are friends with them. The other gyms brush them off and turn away. I know I will get responses in the sense of, "winning adds to the fun and it happens in all sports". Yes it does, yet I feel that we could support eachother a little bit better. In conclusion, I as a coach will start relaxing more and let my teams have more fun. I honestly don't care about being known or being the gym talked about all the time. I honestly enjoy it because on here if you're known, the only thing people say about the gyms is mostly negative. I will enhance the idea and explain the reason to my teams how important it is to show respect for all teams on the floor. We do clap and congratulate yet they could scream and cheer as if it was one of their teams at our gym. I know I will get responses and that's great, you all are entitled to your opinion. I would love to hear your thoughts, positive or negative.
This is the part of cheerleading that I do not like. I personally try to be very sportsmanlike. I cheer on other teams, especially the gyms from around us because we are all from the same area. In fact, I annoy other comp-goers with my enthusiasm. I get looks from people all the time because I cheer on gyms I am not from. We recently had a big comp. I posted well wishes to all the teams we were competing against, and some we weren't, just because I have liked their routines, and was excited to see them. I didn't hide where I was from. Our gym is known as the "Big" gym in this area, the teams everyone seems to hate. There are many other gyms in the area jostling to be the best. Our teams did very well. So did theirs. It was an awsome comp! So Monday I'm looking at all the local gyms guestbooks and everyone from all the differnt gyms was congratulating each other. Other than from another program that is always very sportsmanlike and respectful to other programs, there were no other guestbook entries congratulating us.
Here is an interesting thing about this topic....Kids who have fun get more done then kids who don't. Kids who are having fun with what they are doing tend to do better. why? It is mainly because they like what they are doing. When you take the fun away they get bored and slack off. So what do coaches do when this happens? They get aggrivated and make the kids condition, making them want to work even less because not they aren't just bored, they are also tired. I remeber competing and we went undefeated. We worked out butt's off every practice and had very little fun, except winning first everytime. But the thing is we never did our best. We seemed to get lower and lower scores each competition. Then right before our last comp we found out that our competition had dropped out. So since we had nothing to compete against we worked at practice still, but we had fun doing it. We would play games, and have fun contests. Now we went to this comp to have fun and do whatever. Guess what happened. For the first time the whole season we hit a perfect routine(everything hit no bobbles nothing...not a perfect score though) and got the highest score we had got all year.
I am now on a team that is all about winning. You are terrified of doing something wrong. If you mess up and lose you know your coach is going to come over and scream at you. So what happens is people on my team get nervous, over think what they need to do, and ultimately screw up causing us to lose. Now if they didn't have to worry about their coach who only use of you is a first place trophy, they would be more relaxed and not screw up as often.
Losing may not be fun, but atleast you know you are having fun when the other people are bored and tired and in the end you will probally be the one beating them next year when they are tired of being yelled at and tired of being treated like their only purpose in life is to win.
My daughter left cheer this year for this very reason. It stopped being fun. Her teamates yelled at her or humiliated her as much as the coaches. She had cheered for several years, lots of drama, for her and the family. Coach, I appreciate your thoughts and hope other coaches/owners will read this. Kids perform better when relaxed and praised. Its a no-brainer. It got so bad that coaches were comparing kids and having them compete for spots in a negative manner. The kids were glad when my daughter left, less competition for them. It was a lose-lose situation.
a mom wrote: My daughter left cheer this year for this very reason. It stopped being fun. Her teamates yelled at her or humiliated her as much as the coaches. She had cheered for several years, lots of drama, for her and the family. Coach, I appreciate your thoughts and hope other coaches/owners will read this. Kids perform better when relaxed and praised. Its a no-brainer. It got so bad that coaches were comparing kids and having them compete for spots in a negative manner. The kids were glad when my daughter left, less competition for them. It was a lose-lose situation.
That is soo sad that your daughter decided to leave because it quit being so much fun. My daughter was on a team that did that. They'd yell at each other for not "sticking" a "whatever", or yell at each other for dropping thier flyer and then blaming each other.......Luckily at my daughters current gym, the Coach gets all over anyone who puts down another cheerleader. Falls, not sticking a stunt or tumble can happen to ANYONE!! I always taught my children to not laugh at someone else at their expense...cuz you never know...it might be YOU next time!
Coach with some Though wrote: I was driving in my car the other day and started to think about all the teams who attend the comeptitions around the US. I started to realize how a lot of gyms don't charish the whole "having fun" factor. I will be guilty of this too and need to remember that winning is only the smallest part of the whole sport. It actually upsets me because I've heard coaches say to other coach, "hell yeah we're good" and individuals on a team say, "yeah we probably beat you" from well respected gyms. I know this happens all over and I think that its sad that its become a winning or losing sport. I also realized when the mini squads go to perform everyone stops to cheer and say, "oh they're so cute" but when the older teams come on the only people cheering for them are their own gyms or gyms that are friends with them. The other gyms brush them off and turn away. I know I will get responses in the sense of, "winning adds to the fun and it happens in all sports". Yes it does, yet I feel that we could support eachother a little bit better. In conclusion, I as a coach will start relaxing more and let my teams have more fun. I honestly don't care about being known or being the gym talked about all the time. I honestly enjoy it because on here if you're known, the only thing people say about the gyms is mostly negative. I will enhance the idea and explain the reason to my teams how important it is to show respect for all teams on the floor. We do clap and congratulate yet they could scream and cheer as if it was one of their teams at our gym. I know I will get responses and that's great, you all are entitled to your opinion. I would love to hear your thoughts, positive or negative.
At our gym, the owners highly encourage everyone to cheer all the other gyms, even if they're competing against them. I know for a fact that the other moms I hang with "Cringe" when we see another team drop a stunt or do a "touch down"... and we clap and cheer when the other team(s) does well.........well, to be honest, at Worlds we didn't clap as loud when another team did well that was in our division, but we still "cringed" when they did any of the above. When another team does well, I have said to them "Good Job!" and meant it. I like kids to feel good about themselves. On a more negative note, my daughter and another team mate said "Good Luck" to another cheer group, and that cheer group said "No, YOU"RE going to need the LUCK! We're going to kick your A$$es!!!"......I mean, how rude is that?
I have heard that many of times. It seems that it is always coming from the teams with big names too. I remeber being on one of those teams. We were known for how good we are. I witnessed girls on my team say we don't need luck when it was wished. I left that gym because everytime I would say good luck to another team, tell them how good they did, and tell them about how I couldn't wait to get a chance to compete against them again cause it's nice to have a challenge and the girls on my team would look at me and say they sucked. They can't beat us. I can't believe you talk to them, they are nobodies. That competition is when I went to my coach apoligized to him and said sorry, but good teams are not always the right ones to be on.
I competed at worlds last year on my new team. Ironically the team that I wished good luck that day beat my old team and got a bid to worlds instead. I was so happy that happened. Even though I still don't think it knocked my old teamates off their glory high. Well back to worlds. We lost to a team that was competing against us at worlds. We went over and wished them good luck and all and their repsonse was what we don't need it we already beat you, you can't beat us. Well we kicked their butts and placed 7 teams higher then them.
You are always going to encounter these people. Just shake it off and remeber that aslong as you do what is right you will be fine.
hmm... wrote: I have heard that many of times. It seems that it is always coming from the teams with big names too. I remeber being on one of those teams. We were known for how good we are. I witnessed girls on my team say we don't need luck when it was wished. I left that gym because everytime I would say good luck to another team, tell them how good they did, and tell them about how I couldn't wait to get a chance to compete against them again cause it's nice to have a challenge and the girls on my team would look at me and say they sucked. They can't beat us. I can't believe you talk to them, they are nobodies. That competition is when I went to my coach apoligized to him and said sorry, but good teams are not always the right ones to be on.
I competed at worlds last year on my new team. Ironically the team that I wished good luck that day beat my old team and got a bid to worlds instead. I was so happy that happened. Even though I still don't think it knocked my old teamates off their glory high. Well back to worlds. We lost to a team that was competing against us at worlds. We went over and wished them good luck and all and their repsonse was what we don't need it we already beat you, you can't beat us. Well we kicked their butts and placed 7 teams higher then them.
You are always going to encounter these people. Just shake it off and remeber that aslong as you do what is right you will be fine.
hmm... wrote: I have heard that many of times. It seems that it is always coming from the teams with big names too. I remeber being on one of those teams. We were known for how good we are. I witnessed girls on my team say we don't need luck when it was wished. I left that gym because everytime I would say good luck to another team, tell them how good they did, and tell them about how I couldn't wait to get a chance to compete against them again cause it's nice to have a challenge and the girls on my team would look at me and say they sucked. They can't beat us. I can't believe you talk to them, they are nobodies. That competition is when I went to my coach apoligized to him and said sorry, but good teams are not always the right ones to be on.
I competed at worlds last year on my new team. Ironically the team that I wished good luck that day beat my old team and got a bid to worlds instead. I was so happy that happened. Even though I still don't think it knocked my old teamates off their glory high. Well back to worlds. We lost to a team that was competing against us at worlds. We went over and wished them good luck and all and their repsonse was what we don't need it we already beat you, you can't beat us. Well we kicked their butts and placed 7 teams higher then them.
You are always going to encounter these people. Just shake it off and remeber that aslong as you do what is right you will be fine.
Sorry about that....anyway, thanks for your advice...I really appreciate your thoughts. You are so right about as long as you're doing the right thing, then that's what matters. It's hard not to be cynical, but I like your attitude. And, Good Luck to your team(s). AND I MEAN it!!!!!
It does seem that winning has replaced fun. I was at a comp last weekend and there were a few big name squads there. One of them had their mini level 2 squad practicing in the hallway after they were in 4th place the first day. The coaches were screaming at these kids, "now pay attention, we are still in this, don't look at those people behind you, look at us, not them." This wasn't said in a nice tone of voice either.
I think many programs have lost sight of what is important, that we raise up these kids to learn to be on a team, because living involves working together with people who are different than us.
FYI, the mini level isn't about being cute anymore. Many of those 6 and 7 year olds are under a lot of pressure to win. Their moms are the worse. My daughter is on a mini squad and I was accused of "thinking this was all just fun and games, people aren't spending all this money for fun, they want to win." It is disgusting, we have girls on this mini squad that throw up before competing. I try to tell their moms that they are putting too much pressure on their kids and are going to burn them out. But heck, what do I know, I don't take this stuff serious enough.
To keep this on topic, one of my favorite parts of comps is talking to the parents and kids from other teams. I am sincere in my wishes that everyone do well and my congratulations. I would rather my kids (or any team for that matter) win by being the best on that day than win by other people falling or bobbling. It makes me sad when anything on any team goes wrong, after all, it is children out there, giving their all, and when something goes wrong it is sad.
Yeah, I know how being too competitive can take all the fun out of it. Yet I do see the other side of it too. We came from youth football, where it was all about the social part of it... my daughter visiting with her friends on the squad, not really taking anything that serious, just cheering for fun. When it came time to compete, they looked horrible of course, because nobody took it serious, not even the coaches. So we decided we would spend more money (lots more) and step it up, because my daughter wanted more out of cheer. She took it serious, she wanted to learn real skills. She's on a very competitive squad, and it's all about doing well at competitions. Does she mind? Nope, she's in heaven because she takes it serious and has a goal in mind, her goal is to be a on a good team where she is a contributor, advancing in skills along the way. So for us, we would not have spent money to join all-star competitive cheerleading so that she could continue to simply do it for fun. She could have stayed in youth for that. We're getting our money's worth, she's happy, it's all good. Just another side of it. If it isn't fun anymore, there are other less competitive ways to cheer, that are cheaper too.
OO I know how that goes. Puking before you go on. And the thing is you puke when you get nervous and what not. I wasn't nervous about the comp when I puked. I was nervous about falling and getting my coach angry at me. I think coaches get on a glory high just like their kids. They like being talked about I mean who doesn't. But they figured out the more they win the more they get talked about. So now it's all about working their kids over the limit to win. They need more difficulty so they are going to give kids passes they don't have and when they don't land it.... they get yelled at. I just don't think it's to safe anymore. I've had my share of falls from trying to get a new pass my coach wanted me to get and said if I didn't have it by so and so I wouldn't be on the team anymore. I rolled my ankles fractured all four fingers on my left hand. Went to practice the next day and my coach made me tumble full out on it. He made me try the pass I just fell and ate it hard the day before. I think it has gotten just a little out of hand now. I can't wait to get to college. Only fulls and two competitions if that. So much less stress
Tough call. You are completely right and so is coach with a thought. You need balance and both of you are showing that balance. Children need to be challenged but at the same time they need to have fun. For children to grow they need a strong coach with the right intentions and a good heart. Children need to have a goal by themselves and as a team. It is a great life learning skill for all children. At the same time coaches need to remember they're role models to the children they are coaching and in fact there is a lot of modeling which takes place. I believe what is being said is that sometimes coaches can take it too far to get that recognition of our gym is the best or even their own name out to the public. It is okay to be proud but it is not okay to look at other teams as if they have no chance. Each team works just as hard even if the skill is harder then another. It's not the result that counts but the process. Children are learning skills such as, listening, coodination, confidence, trust, determination, self helping skills, the important for bonding, team work, social skills, winning and losing,dealing with conflict, and so much more. I would want my child to walk away with not just a trophy and memories but a growing experience you get only from doing a sport. When children are constantly told no, yelled at for what they're NOT doing right, they completely shut down at one point and find it difficult to learn. Imagine someone pounding at you constantly for what you are NOT doing right, you get frusterated, mad at yourself and soon enough you break down. You might cry, you might give up, and might just feel like you have to scream. Children learn through modivation and encouragement. It's okay for coaches to get mad and pursue it further its just the way you do it. Coaches/Gym Owners have to remember that these memories and experiences will continue to follow these children through their entire life. It will help them in situations you'd never think would. Children love to learn and doing this in a positive way will only allow them to expand in the sport. - Best Wishes, Bay Area/Owner Coach
well i DO mean it but when i congradulate kids from other teams they look at me like whys this biotch talking to me. my team is one of the BIg teams like you say an i don evven wanna say anything to anyone anymore bc of that. so if u ever think the big team is mean mabe its bc there tired of being dissed when there nice . jmo
To Balance Is Needed, very well said! Thank you for your post, in my opinion you successfully covered all bases; they are fortunate to have you, whoever you are.
