I think coaches get over that one after a few times. As a parent who has had a kid at all of the levels, it gets easier as the kid gets older. Parents are worse the younger the child. Maybe some parents won't like what I said but oh boy is it sooooooo true...

Gold Mom, very true. Communication from the very beginning is key. However......nothing and I mean nothing can ever prepare a parent for dealing with their child being dissapointed. For that reason, we as coaches will always have to deal with irrational parents. It's part of the job. We accept it right?

To this day, my mom complains about the lack of innings I got to play as a lttile league baseball player.

"Does anyone find that they have trouble making tough decisions for their team not because they will upset an 'athlete' but more so the 'parent'?"

No. Never had a problem. Parents pay to have their child on the team. They don't pay me to make the decisions. My bosses do. I liken it to professional sports. I pay money to watch the A's play, so do I complain when the manager pulls out a pitcher I think should continue to play? Yes, I complain. But the manager has every right to ignore me and does, because he's being paid to make the decisions. I have several options. I can continue complaining and just get riled up, I can not complain and trust that the manager knows what he is doing (which in most cases he does) or I can go to Giants games.

As a coach, so long as I remember the above I won't have a problem making tough decisions. I know parents are sometimes complaining to each other about it but when do fans not second guess coaches?

I really do not like to get in the middle of these but here is my 2 cents. I am a coach and a director. I feel that for the most part I can talk with my parents as well as the athletes in my program. I keep an open door for conversation between the parents as well as the athletes. Some people may think this is not a good idea because I am also opening the door for other problems but so far this has worked for me and the program as a whole. On one of the teams I coach I pulled a flyer, who is great in the air but can not pull the skill I wanted in the routine and someone else could so she is not flying-in that section, she is a back spot in the stunt instead. Both the athlete and parent knows that the decision was not made to punish the athlete but to help better the team. This was explained again to the flyer when the decision was made.

As Danny and Gold mom said, communication is the key. It is similar to school...the teacher has conferences with the parents, I try to touch base with the parents when I can so they are aware of the progress or lack there of in some cases of their child.

I agree with Danny, Gold Mom and Jodi couldn't have put it better (I like her style).

If a change needs to be made for whatever the reason, coaches shouldn't assume the affected student(s) and parent(s) know why the decision was made. Keeping the line of communication open is best for all. Shouldn't ALL coaches have good people skills and learn to communicate effectively? esp. to the "parents" yes, the folks who are supporting your program both physically and financially?

I have been around horrible, belligerent parents and happy to say I am not one of them. I keep the peace by respecting coaching decisions. I must say decisions without communicating will hurt and disappoint your students and parents which will lead to separation and disrespect. One team, one family is what you we all should strive for.

1. What would you recommend a parent to do when a change is made (for whatever reason) that affects their child and no explanation is given? most changes are pretty obvious. from someone needing to get to a certain formation, to another person being a stronger base or flyer, to replacing injuries or whatever. i think most changes are really obvious.
2. How would you perceive and respond to the parent and child, if they began to ask questions and especially begin making inaccurate assumptions? if its causing problems i would just let them know whats going on. but i think a parent would trust a coaches decision.
3. Could this have been avoided? no, i think mainly "stage moms" are the only ones that make this a big deal
4. Any advise for the coach? just trust what your doing!

This isn't perfectly related but maybe you guys can help me.

My brother plays basketball for a local Varsity team. Recently the coach has been making him stay back on defense instead of getting out on fast breaks where he scaores most of his points. Also he normally plays at least 42 of the 48 minutes but last week he came out in the midlde of the second quarter and didn't go back in until after the half. Then he only played maybe 15 minutes in the second half. Oh and normally he takes all of the technical foul free throws but at the beginning of December someone else got to take them. The coach has told my parents NOTHING!

Should I tell my parents to demand an explanation or at least complain about the lack of communication? The team is doing really well and i don't really think my brother is upset about all this but STILL.

What do you all think my parents should do?

Well Surfer, I would just let things be for now. Maybe your brothers coach has a method behind the madness. Sounds like your brother is a main player. Maybe the coach wants the team to step up and not allow your brother to carry the weight of the team? You could always ask the coach why in a really nice way. But realize this.... the coach wants to win, probably more so than the players and parents. So don't think for a second that he/she will jeopardize the team for a silly reason. When my child is moved, I just sit back and wait. If my child is good enough, she will be put back into her spot. If someone else is better, then isn't that what's good for the team and gives them a better chance at winning??? Why would I even question that? Just wait and see. Things become clear in time.....

I just have to put in my 2 cents since I have not seen the response that I try to give my kids. I am a mom of two boys 15 and 18 that have played baseball since they were 5 and a daughter 14 that has cheered since she was 8.

I have been the parent, the coaches wife, and the coach (one year of youth football cheer which I must say was the most stressful thing I have done and has given me the utmost respect for cheer coaches in general!) Throughout my experiences in all aspects, the thing that my husband and I have learned is that most of the time when changes are made to a child in his or her sport, the child is not nearly as upset as the parent! We make it a practice to ask our child about any changes in their role on their team and ask them why they think the change was made. If they don't know and seem upset about it, we tell them that if they want an explanation they need to ask their coach in private after their next practice. Most of the time they do and get an answer they can live with. Coaches are not out to make a child angry or disappointed on purpose. But if they do, they usually will really respect THE CHILD asking them why they did what they did much more than a parent asking them.

Before you get concerned about your childs placement on a team, in a routine, on the field, or anywhere else, see if your child is bothered by it before you approach the coaches or administrators. Then if they are, have them ask their coach. Kids need to learn how to stand up for themselves and not always rely on their parents to do it for them. We have done this with our children and have always had good results. To that fact, I have never had to get involved and my kids have become confident in themselves and their sports.

I realize this may not be the best solution in every situation, but for the most part it has worked for me. I try this approach with school too and have positive results.