Protect Our Children

Worlds Watcher · GURU

Protect Our Children

Date: Sun Oct 14 7:01 AM, 2007

Yes I do beleive that gyms should be held to the same standards as schools and be required to do background and live scan. But I also beleive these male coaches need to go to a camp like the professional football players are required to go to sort of a Ho Camp.

I am sorry when I heard the story it sounded like some hot in the pants 15 year old was having sex with one of the coaches and either she or her parents got pissed off and turned him in. But they probally defenitly dated and it was mutual. Have you been to a gym where the 15yr olds look 21 with belly rings and tatoos, shorts rolled up so short and sports bra, looking like thier wearing a bathing suit instead of work out clothes. I am a woman with kids and I can't stand to see this. When I was a teenager the older guys were cool, they had cars and money because they had jobs and when they said do you want to go out you actually went somewhere. These were the kinda guys I went after. I was in 9th grade doing the do, it sounds terrible to me now as a parent, but it's true. As a woman I look back on that now and realize I was like in heat, thank God I made it through those times with no diseases and no babies, but what a mess.

It is sad these young men have to learn the hard way over some hot in the pants teenager. But we need like a cheer ho camp because working aroung this type of enviornment day in and day out is a very hard challenge for some male coaches, especially the straight one's. Now he will probally get 10 years or more and be on the registered sex offenders list over what? PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG HE WAS DEFENITLY OUT OF LINE. But the way some of these kids dress in the gym it's almost like working in a strip club all day.

Tamara · cheergyms.com Master Poster

To Anonymous, I can only say wow!

Although I think background checks are a good practice to have, a part of me wonders would it really do any good? I mean that sincerely. Most, if not all, of the cases I've read about it was the person's "first offense". Even one of the big ones I remember being talked about awhile ago where the coach moved from one state to another (possibly to another?), there weren't any charges at the previous location, just rumors.

I guess even if it stops just one, it's worth it, especially since the "just one" would actually be helping multiple girls/boys.

(just realized I asked and answered my own question. :) )

Date: Sun Oct 14 9:50 AM, 2007

I find the comment 'hot in your pants 15 year old' extremely offensive'. It's a throw back to the old saying 'she asked for it'. What is wrong with a 25 to 30 year old man being responsible for his own actions, and excerising self control. If young girls are dressing inappropriate at the gym, then the gym should adhere to a stricker dress code. Even then it does not justify an adult male molesting a 14 or 15 year old girl. Sorry there is no excuses that warrant this type of behavior.

Date: Sun Oct 14 10:05 AM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

I find the comment 'hot in your pants 15 year old' extremely offensive'. It's a throw back to the old saying 'she asked for it'. What is wrong with a 25 to 30 year old man being responsible for his own actions, and excerising self control. If young girls are dressing inappropriate at the gym, then the gym should adhere to a stricker dress code. Even then it does not justify an adult male molesting a 14 or 15 year old girl. Sorry there is no excuses that warrant this type of behavior.

I agree 100% with your feelings when I read the above post. Especially after reading the article and that it does not really give all the facts on what actually happened. Makes you understand why some victims of this type of crime are to scared to say anthing, when they face this type of additute. How sad...

Date: Sun Oct 14 10:17 AM, 2007

Over the last 30 years, people's responses to rape victims have improved tremendously. However, it is still likely that you will run into people who may disbelieve you, ridicule you, abandon, blame, ostracize, sabotage, threaten, betray you, or side with the rapist against you. These painful and dangerous reactions can come from family, friends, and authorities as well as from people associated with the rapist. In fact, it's particularly devastating to rape victims when you're treated badly by the very people you expected would help you.
Many victims say the betrayal of these experiences is so painful that it was worse than the rape itself. That's why, in the literature on rape, this all too common abusive treatment of rape victims has been given the name, "the second rape". In addition to being terribly sexist and wrong, these all too common abuses of rape victims are also very dangerous to the victim. These abusive reactions drive rape victims into deepening isolation and despair. The disbelieving, blaming, and ostracizing of rape victims is also dangerous to all women and girls. Driving rape victims into isolation and despair is one of the ways a male dominated society supports the ongoing existence of rape.

Date: Sun Oct 14 11:13 AM, 2007

Tamara wrote:

To Anonymous, I can only say wow!

Although I think background checks are a good practice to have, a part of me wonders would it really do any good? I mean that sincerely. Most, if not all, of the cases I've read about it was the person's "first offense". Even one of the big ones I remember being talked about awhile ago where the coach moved from one state to another (possibly to another?), there weren't any charges at the previous location, just rumors.

I guess even if it stops just one, it's worth it, especially since the "just one" would actually be helping multiple girls/boys.

(just realized I asked and answered my own question. :) )

Yes cheerleading coaches should have background checks. I know that the system is not perfect right now, but it's a start. The 22 year old who was arrested for having sexual relataions with a 15 year old cheerleader in a gym he coached at, was in a position of power and if found guilty should be held responsible for abusing that trust. There has to be a line drawn somewhere.

Date: Sun Oct 14 11:43 AM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

Yes I do beleive that gyms should be held to the same standards as schools and be required to do background and live scan. But I also beleive these male coaches need to go to a camp like the professional football players are required to go to sort of a Ho Camp.

I am sorry when I heard the story it sounded like some hot in the pants 15 year old was having sex with one of the coaches and either she or her parents got pissed off and turned him in. But they probally defenitly dated and it was mutual. Have you been to a gym where the 15yr olds look 21 with belly rings and tatoos, shorts rolled up so short and sports bra, looking like thier wearing a bathing suit instead of work out clothes. I am a woman with kids and I can't stand to see this. When I was a teenager the older guys were cool, they had cars and money because they had jobs and when they said do you want to go out you actually went somewhere. These were the kinda guys I went after. I was in 9th grade doing the do, it sounds terrible to me now as a parent, but it's true. As a woman I look back on that now and realize I was like in heat, thank God I made it through those times with no diseases and no babies, but what a mess.

It is sad these young men have to learn the hard way over some hot in the pants teenager. But we need like a cheer ho camp because working aroung this type of enviornment day in and day out is a very hard challenge for some male coaches, especially the straight one's. Now he will probally get 10 years or more and be on the registered sex offenders list over what? PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG HE WAS DEFENITLY OUT OF LINE. But the way some of these kids dress in the gym it's almost like working in a strip club all day.

You have got to be kidding me. You are such a MORON I can't believe I am reading this. PLEASE DO NOT VICTOMIZE THE VICTOM.
She is only 15 and HE IS THE ADULT. Maybe her parents need a kick in the butt for allowing her to dress in the manor you stated but she is still ONLY 15.

cheer1 · Veteran Member

Boy I can't believe this.First of all the guy should know better. I know being a woman that when you are 15 and 16 you get crushes on your coaches but that does not give any coach the right to do anything even if the girl is flirting with him. I also would like to know where the H*** the parents are. This is why I would never leave my kid boy or girl in a gym alone with a coach until they are 18. Sorry I don't trust anyone.
I can hear the arguments now but if they are having privates etc. someone else should be in the gym. Now if this happened outside on there own time why was a 15 year old out by herself with a over 18year old? I say wake up people. I know people who say they trust their kids it's not trusting their kids it's trusting who there kids are with. Unfortunatly yu never know what can happen. We all like to trust our kids but you never know.

Date: Sun Oct 14 12:21 PM, 2007

I am sorry you did see the comment HE WAS DEFENITLY OUT OF LINE , I put it is caps for you. I just don't like parents who pretend they don't know what's going on. I know at least one adult of autority had to have realize something inappropriate was going on with this coach or between these two.

Anyway, this is like the boy dressing like a gang banger than getting shot up and looking confused. the lesson here is DONT DRESS THE PART, there are things women can do to protect themselves, yes it is our right to dress like we want and go where we please. But parents please use some common sense. All I am saying is people please make your children realize that all attention they receive is not good attention. I know a dad who would never go to the gym and watch his daughter because he said he felt unconfortable with the way some of the kids dressed. Rape is never okay, and neither is parents, coaches and friends silence and compliance.

Date: Sun Oct 14 12:29 PM, 2007

Than I think she should dress and act like a 15 year old. The only morons I can see are in people like you living in pretend world. Wake up look around at your daughter's or son's friend we all know at least five kids that we don't want our kids hanging around because we don't like the way they dress, or we beleive they act TOO FAST for thier age. etc.

Parents are always afraid to make a stink they don't want to make anybody mad, but in my eyes this is compliance. When a parent realizes other parents don't want thier kids hanging around with thier child maybe they should not so quickly beleive it is due to jealousy and start looking at thier kids to fix the problems. Too many mom's trying to be thier daughter's friends and forgeting the parenting part.

This is just my opinion as a mother.

Date: Sun Oct 14 12:44 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

I am sorry you did see the comment HE WAS DEFENITLY OUT OF LINE , I put it is caps for you. I just don't like parents who pretend they don't know what's going on. I know at least one adult of autority had to have realize something inappropriate was going on with this coach or between these two.

Anyway, this is like the boy dressing like a gang banger than getting shot up and looking confused. the lesson here is DONT DRESS THE PART, there are things women can do to protect themselves, yes it is our right to dress like we want and go where we please. But parents please use some common sense. All I am saying is people please make your children realize that all attention they receive is not good attention. I know a dad who would never go to the gym and watch his daughter because he said he felt unconfortable with the way some of the kids dressed. Rape is never okay, and neither is parents, coaches and friends silence and compliance.

I am sorry you did see the comment HE WAS DEFENITLY OUT OF LINE , I put it is caps for you. I just don't like parents who pretend they don't know what's going on. I know at least one adult of autority had to have realize something inappropriate was going on with this coach or between these two.

Anyway, this is like the boy dressing like a gang banger than getting shot up and looking confused. the lesson here is DONT DRESS THE PART, there are things women can do to protect themselves, yes it is our right to dress like we want and go where we please. But parents please use some common sense. All I am saying is people please make your children realize that all attention they receive is not good attention. I know a dad who would never go to the gym and watch his daughter because he said he felt unconfortable with the way some of the kids dressed. Rape is never okay, and neither is parents, coaches and friends silence and compliance.

Sorry I have a hard time taking what you say seriously. Comments like some hot pants 15 year old, required to go to sort of a Ho Camp, I was in 9th grade doing the do, It is sad these young men have to learn the hard way over some hot in the pants teenager. The article only says he is accused of misconduct. How can you make these kind of statements when you do not know all the facts. Automatically you are assuming it is the 15 year olds fault without knowing all the facts. Yes I'm aware that there are teenage girls who are well beyond thier age sexually. This does not take away from the fact a 22 year old male should know better. And as far as you I hope you try to teach your own daugther to learn from your mistakes.

Date: Sun Oct 14 1:08 PM, 2007

Anonymous wrote:

I am sorry you did see the comment HE WAS DEFENITLY OUT OF LINE , I put it is caps for you. I just don't like parents who pretend they don't know what's going on. I know at least one adult of autority had to have realize something inappropriate was going on with this coach or between these two.

Anyway, this is like the boy dressing like a gang banger than getting shot up and looking confused. the lesson here is DONT DRESS THE PART, there are things women can do to protect themselves, yes it is our right to dress like we want and go where we please. But parents please use some common sense. All I am saying is people please make your children realize that all attention they receive is not good attention. I know a dad who would never go to the gym and watch his daughter because he said he felt unconfortable with the way some of the kids dressed. Rape is never okay, and neither is parents, coaches and friends silence and compliance.

I agree with some of what your saying. You just said it very poorly and I was even taken aback with some of your comments. I also agree that a 22 year old male should know better. You make it sound like its the girls fault. How do you know this is even the case in this instance. When posting on a open forum like this as an adult you should be more careful of what and how you come across.

Date: Sun Oct 14 3:20 PM, 2007

1st of all it seems to me that when our kids are in the cheer gym that shorts and bra top would be quite normal. I dont know what gym allows the kids to wear belly button rings? But none of these things are the point of the matter. A 22 year old male should not be alone w/ a minor child..period!! Our cheer gym's that have male coaches should have some rule in place that they are never alone in the gym with a female student. It's just bad business and a great way to end up in court. Bottom line the responsiblity lies with the adult to make the better choice. Just my thoughts.

Date: Sun Oct 14 6:02 PM, 2007

If you are offended by how I come accross "I am sorry" but every time I hear a story like this it makes me sick. NO ONE KNEW THIS WAS GOING ON??? In this day and age where everyone know everyones buisness.

If this relationship was mutual, which is the rumor that is going around although no the media is not saying this " Would it really be that sensational if they did?" but if this is the case they both should be punished and the owners or other coaches anyone who knew this relationship was going on should be considered an accessory to this terrible crime.

Date: Sun Oct 14 6:15 PM, 2007

Gossip aside a 22 year old male should have known better.

Date: Sun Oct 14 6:40 PM, 2007

The fact that it may have been a mutual relationship is moot. It is agaist the law to have sex with a minor CHILD. End of story, the burn goes to the adults to make the right choice.

Date: Sun Oct 14 7:45 PM, 2007

I haven't read any of the other comments because I saw people were geetting really into it...positive and negative but! I do think a background check along with fingerprints is in order. If you are a parent, please voice to your gyms. It wont hurt! yes it costs money but its the best thing you can do. I know it wont stop all the perverts out there but it is smart. If you work with childrenin a school setting you have to get this done. Also, talk to your kids about speaking up. The kids need to know it is okay to say something. VERY IMPORTANT. I am sorry but you can't blame it on the children. Imagine being 15 years old and your cheer coach is 30 who you find so "hott". He tells you how great you are and blah blah. As a 15 years old, you would fall head over heels. NOW, a 30 year old should know better. I'm sorry, that is gross

OC Mom · GURU

Just a quick note eveyone. It costs 10 or 15 dollars to be fingerprinted at the police dept. Call your local police dept and tell them that you want your employees fingerprinted and scanned (this is thru the database). Anyone who wants to be employeed has to agree to this. Ive done it and it takes 5 minutes.

Just a little thought......

I'm so sorry that this man has put a black mark on the sport for doing this. The men that my daughter have come in contact with thru cheer are the most wonderful and trustworthy people I have known and I hope this doesn't reflect on them.

You all know who you are.....

Date: Mon Oct 15 5:47 AM, 2007

OH my GOD, I do belive this article said ACCUSED SEXUAL MISCONDUCT!!!!!!! If this man is not guilty of this I hope he sues everyone on here, the police and this young girl!! What ever happen to innocent until proven guilty. No it's always guilty until proven innocent. THIS STORY DID NOT SAY RAPE!!

Look at you people reading into it what you want. Don't even get me started on the racial aspect of things. This just proves that people should educate themselves on the LAWS OF THIER COUNTRY!!!!